According to Neil Strauss, author of The Game, there are several switches that must be flipped in a woman to make her feel attracted to you. Hereâ€™s his list (there is no order, the switches just should be flipped at some point)
1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated.
2. You must show her that you have either ambition, motivation, or job/financial security. In other words, you must have a life and goals. This is about demonstrating that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful (unless you’re in your 30s, at which point you should have achieved something).
3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. This is about showing her that you HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where demonstrations of higher value (DHVs) are useful.
4. You must be the PRIZE of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends. This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, cocky/funny, and not supplicating. This point is about demonstrating all of the many qualities of CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY
5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect on, the more chemistry you create. This point is about demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.
6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 is about hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.
7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). The idea here is to demonstrate your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you RECOGNIZE SOMETHING SPECIAL IN HER THAT ATTRACTS YOU TO HER. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.
P.S. Always keep in mind that your body language tells more about you than anything else. To master this area I recommend to check out RSD’s Hot Seat at Home.