Telling stories in one of the best ways to generate attraction in pick-up when done correctly. If you want to be able to pick up a girl you gotta learn to tell stories.
Here are some basic guidelines for storytelling:
1. Material. Choose stories that are interesting, fun and relevant to her! Avoid stories about distasteful subjects, i.e. death, car accidents, bad breakups, etc. Use stories you tell often to friends and new people that get big laughs.
2. Be succinct. Write your story out word for word and then gut it. Get rid of everything the listener doesn’t need to know and doesn’t care about. Itâ€™s better to cut too much than too little. State the boring but necessary details as succinctly as possible.
3. Lead in. This is how you start the story. The lead in should be congruent with the story to follow. Communicate using words, tonality and energy the type of story to follow. Some examples are, “Oh my God, the funniest/craziest/weirdest thing happened to me the other day!” or “You’ll never believe this, check it out.”
4. Hook. An initial hook is something that makes peoples’ ears perk up. It should be as close to the beginning of the story as possible and should be specifically chosen to make people lean in and pay attention. Bad: My friend called me the other day and left me a message to call him back. So I called him and he went on and on about his Mother’s operation before finally telling me about this party he wanted to go to. Turns out, it’s an S & M party! Good: So the other day I went to this S & M party!
5. Unanswered questions. Craft your story so that there will be unanswered questions in the listener’s mind. You want them to ask you questions that give you the opportunity to further increase your value. Example: So I was picking up my new car the other day and the salesman wouldn’t stop asking me about my watch. The girl I was with finally told him we had to go so she could pick up her instrument for a concert she was doing that night. Unanswered questions: What kind of car did you just buy? What kind of watch were you wearing? Are you rich? Who was the girl you were with? What kind of performance did she have to get to?
6. Allude. In the examples above you’re alluding. You’re alluding to the fact that you have money, as you just bought a new car and have a cool watch. You’re alluding to the fact that you hang out with cool girls. Stated directly, any of this information would sound like bragging, so you allude to it. Make them ask you about it; don’t volunteer it.
7. Subcommunication. This has to do mostly with tonality. The same story can be told playfully, seductively or in a way that generates intrigue. Calibrate to your audience and know what you want to subcommunicate.
8. Convey personality traits. In telling a story, you’re telling someone a great deal about yourself. Know what personality traits want to convey. Craft your stories to subtly tell someone you’re adventurous, rich, famous, creative, courageous, etc.
9. Tonality. This is hard to put in print, but vary your tonality as widely as possible. Talk slow, then fast, then low, then high and then higher! Make transitions smoothly and tell the story in a way that sucks your listener right in. Along with this, act out parts of the story with your hands or your whole body.
10. Have a punch line. A punch line is a line that sums up your story in a powerful way. It’s a way of letting the listener know that the story is over. It doesn’t have to be funny, though in many stories used in the field it will be. Examples: – “That’s the last time I take THAT dog to the beach!” – “From now on I’m asking to see girls’ ID’s!”
P.S. There is a great chapter (17, p. 149-159) on storytelling in Magic Bullets that I can recommend.
Do you want more success with women in 2012? Then you need to check out these 7 simple tips to get the girl in 2012.
1. Meeting women isn’t just for Saturday nights
Bars and clubs are only a small part of the world. Branch out. Do some Day Game. Develop a social circle that generates attractive women for you to meet naturally. Build a lifestyle that puts beautiful women in your path. On the other hand, donâ€™t try to be one person when you meet women and another person in the rest of your life. If you need to be more social, be more social every day. If you need to be a better storyteller, be a better storyteller every day. And so on.
2. Write down your goals and how you plan to get there
Studies show that people who write down and commit to their goals are over 600% more effective. And donâ€™t forget to do a small step towards them every day.
3. Learn how to flirt over text/sms
If you date women who are under 40, you need to learn to text/sms. Texting should build attraction, increase sexual tension, qualify her, and let her get to know you better. In other words, everything we used to have to do in person. A phone number alone isnâ€™t that valuable, but if you know how to use text conversations to get her dying to see you again â€“ itâ€™s money!
4. Schedule your priorities. Prioritize your schedule
Don’t leave what is important to you for if you have any time left at the end of the day/week/month/year/etc. Put what is important to you on your schedule and stick to it. That means some things will have to fall off. That’s okay. It’s much better to choose what you don’t have time for than to let what is urgent keep you away from what is important.
5. Get good wingmen
Good wingmen force each other to go out, make each other do their approaches, and encourage and help each other when they see something wrong. Good wingmen also let you have a lot more success. While you can definitely attract women when you go out alone it’s a lot better if you have a wingman to help you out. And more fun too!
6. Upgrade your fashion and hairstyle
Clothes and hairstyle say so much about you. To a woman, your clothes and hairstyle are a choice – and she wants to know what they say about you. Are you fashionable and cool? Or out of touch and lame? Are you fun and fresh and exciting? Or boring and afraid to be yourself? Do you respect yourself and have attention to detail? Or do just wear whatever? Make 2012 the year you get your “look” SOLVED if they’re not already.
7. Be man enough to get help
Most men aren’t good at this. Women don’t have this problem. They ask for and share advice all the time – and get much more personal than most men. This gives women a social advantage. Redress the balance in your own life â€“ get some advice!
Do you want a phone number and a date? Or do you want to take her home? Or is she your next girlfriend? The distinction is important, because each path leads in a different direction.
1. How to pick up a girl if you want casual hookups. Focus on Physical Escalation (touching) and Logistics (getting her alone with you somewhere where you can take things to the next level). Remember to touch early and touch often. Find out early in the night who she is with and where she is going later. A couple quick tips:
– Make the numbers match. If you’re alone and the woman you meet is with her friend, get an instant wingman. You can use opinion openers with guys you don’t know in order to draw them into the conversation.
– Whispering is a great way to create sexual tension – it lets you get right close and is a huge turn-on to many women (always have chewing gum with you ;)
– In Day Game, physical escalation is less important and logistics are more important. Don’t try to seduce her on the street. Make a date for later that night.
– Use roleplays
2. If you want phone numbers and dates then it’s mostly about the Emotional Connection. Physical Escalation/ touching is less important on the first meeting (but still do it) and Logistics aren’t usually very important at all.
Emotional connection comes through conversation. So you need great conversation and flirting skills. Here are a couple of flirting/conversation skills:
– Never ask two questions in a row. Alternate statements and questions.
– Don’t play tourist in her life. Add value.
– Flirting is playful, not serious. It’s also supposed to be fun. Make her have fun.
– Cut off any conversation topics that won’t help you (e.g., her ex-boyfriend, her sick cat, her 6am wakeup call tomorrow, etc.).
– Be at the same energy level as her or slightly higher.
The second part of this is that once you get her phone number, you still need to turn it into a date. Here are a couple hints to get you going:
– Texting is usually better start than phoning for the first contact.
– Always sign your texts. If she has to respond with “who is this?” it kills the emotional momentum.
– If you call, get off the phone first, after about 10-12 minutes. Never leave voicemails.
– Never text her back quicker than she texted you back.
– Be unpredictable. Alternate long and short texts, funny and serious, questions and statements.
– Use statements more than questions. You don’t lose anything if she doesn’t respond to “I’m going to the House of Blues tonight!” You do if she doesn’t respond to “Would you like to come to the House of Blues with me?”
– Use Callback Humor whenever possible. If you did any role-plays when you met, start the call by continuing the role play. If you gave her a goofy nickname, start by calling her that.
3. If you are looking for a girlfriend or long-term relationship
Here’s where you need the full package. You need the conversation skills, you need the phone and text game skills (because there are going to be a few dates before she becomes your girlfriend and you’ve got to keep things going in between those dates).
You’ll also need – unlike in the last two cases – an attractive lifestyle. A woman can hook up with you without caring about what you do with your time, but for a woman to become your girlfriend, she has to want to join your life. That’s friends, hobbies, job, social life, interests, etc.
Here are a few handy lifestyle hints:
Prioritize your schedule and schedule your priorities. If you don’t make time for what’s important to you, it won’t happen. It’s much better to be passionate about something that she might not be interested in than to adopt “high status” hobbies you don’t connect with. Women love hearing men talk about something with passion and love telling their friends about it.
P.S. There are tons of routines for each of the three ways in Magic Bullets.
P.P.S. The holiday season is coming. And it’s not just about stress and travel – it’s also a great opportunity to attract women â€“ especially holiday shopping!
The usual Day Game system that most men use will also work just fine at the mall during the holidays. But if you’re shyer, there’s another way. Approach a woman you’re attracted to with something like: “My sister says she needs a new purse for Christmas. What’s in style these days?”
The transition from this is easy; ask her to help you pick one out. Be near a purse store when you start the conversation and save your receipt. Or ask her what she’s doing and then “realize” you’re both doing your holiday shopping at a lot of the same stores, so why not do it together?
Next time youâ€™re in a bar or club, try this routine. Girls simply love it.
You: Hey, are you a good liar?
You: Can you lie? (Turn to her friends) Is she a good liar?
Her friends: Yes! She is a fantastic liar!/ No, she can’t lie.
You: Is that right? Well, letâ€™s see. You are going to tell me three things. One of them will be a lie. Ok?
You: Rightâ€¦You are going to tell me…a place you have always wanted to visit. A shop you like going to…and….the name of the first guy you slept with, or girl…(gets her laughing/ smiling)
You: So that’s three things, place to visit, shop you like and first guy you slept with. Ok? (all her friends are now looking at her)
You: Hold on, take it slow, think about it. You have to be as convincing as you can…
She tells, you try and pick the lie. Then usually someone goes “my turn!” and if they say to you “your turn” you go “are you kidding, I am not playing some silly lie game”, then turn to your wing saying “These people are crazy”. Then go get a drink or something and let them think about what a fun guy you are. You will get IOIs (indicators of interest) en masse!
As you may know, women are attracted to a man with an exciting lifestyle, a strong social network, ambitious goals and heart at the right place (being able to show love for her and his family). However, instead of demonstrating these things, a lot of guys complain or try to show off on the first date. They donâ€™t realize that you can lose the girl really fast saying the “wrong” things.
So, here are the top 5 verbal mistakes you can make on the first date:
1. “I donâ€™t date.” or “My last girlfriend was forever ago.”
She thinks: “No other women will touch this guy and neither should I.” Instead you should demonstrate pre-selection (show her other women want you). Tell her a story of an interesting date you had or drop names of female friends into your stories.
2. “I like to stay at home and play video games.”
She thinks: “This guy is a geek.” You should be conveying to her that you’re an adventurous risk-taker. Talk about when you did something dangerous (sky-diving, hang gliding, bungee
jumping, etc). If you haven’t done something like that, then talk about your desire to do so.
3. “My friends are stupid.”
She thinks: “He has bad friends because heâ€™s a bad person.” Instead talk about your friends positively and let her know you have many. Or show her you’re good at socializing by meeting new people with her that night.
4. “I hate my job. But I just need the money to pay the bills.”
She thinks: “This guy has no ambition, that’s gross.” If you do have a shitty job, you don’t need to tell her all about it. Instead tell her your goals for the future. She doesn’t care if you’re rich but she does want you to be ambitious.
5. “I don’t really talk to my family.”
She thinks: “This guy has intimacy issues because he’s not even able to love his family!” Don’t reveal negative personal baggage about yourself in the early stages of meeting a woman. Instead show her you love and take care of all of those close to you: family, friends,
girlfriends, and even pets. Being a protector of your loved ones is very sexy to women.
P.S. There are countless value demonstration routines in Magic Bullets.
Following my last post, I have put together a list of healthy foods that donâ€™t require any cooking. Healthy foods are basically whole, not processed foods that give your body the vitamins and minerals it needs. Examples are fresh fruits and vegetables, fish, all kinds of nuts, milk (if you want to lose fat only once a week), whey and (green) beans.
However beans and vegetables arenâ€™t particularly tasty. And who said there arenâ€™t foods that are good for your health but also tasty? So here are my top 7 healthy but tasty foods:
1) Dark chocolate. Big surprise! Apart from the positive effects on your mood, dark chocolate (high-cacao content) also has positive effects on your heart, circulatory system, brain function and skin. Of course you should eat it in moderation (max. a 1.6-ounce a day).
2) Coconuts. Those nuts are not only tasty but also extremely rich in selenium, potassium and healthy fat.
3) Blueberries. They taste good and are full of antioxidants and fiber.
4) Almonds. Almonds contain about 50%Â oils (mostly omega-9 fatty acids that are good for your brain). They are also rich in vitamin E, fiber and essential minerals. Try to eat them instead of chips and other snacks but restrain yourself if you can – they have a lot of calories.
5) Avocados. They may not be to everyoneâ€™s taste, but they are full of vitamins (B, E, K), minerals, fiber and healthy fat. You can also make a guacamole (mashed avocados with garlic, onion, tomato, pepper, etc.).
6) Salmon. Salmon is full of omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins (D, A and B) andÂ mineralsÂ like Selenium, Zinc, Phosphorus, Calcium and Iron. And itâ€™s delicious.
7) Full-Fat Milk. Milk not only tastes good but provides your body with calcium, magnesium, selenium and potassium as well as vitamin C, D, A, B and K. Athletes should give low-fat chocolate milk a try after workouts as studies show it is even better for muscle recovery than special sports drinks.
You may have noticed most of the foods on my list are rich in fat. But it is monounsaturated fat, the â€œgoodâ€ fat, which can even lowerÂ LDL cholesterol in your body. The good fat doesnâ€™t really make you fat. Carbohydrates, especially too much sugar does.
The foods mentioned above make you feel full whereas sugar makes you crave for more and thus consume more calories. More important: carbohydrates in general stop your body from burning fat. So if you want to lose fat and donâ€™t have the time to exercise, try to avoid carbohydrates.
Thatâ€™s why bananas are not on this list. Yes, bananas have some vitamins and taste good, but in contrast to most fruits (for example apples) which contain fructose and glucose, bananas also contain sucrose (= carbohydrates), which is quite similar to table sugar. So the bad thing about bananas it that they affect your blood sugar levels almost like sugar does. And when the blood sugar level rises, the body produces insulin which stores sugar as glycogen in fat tissue.
P.S. If you canâ€™t stop eating toast (= carbohydrates) for breakfast, try coffee with a small piece of butter (grass-fed, unsalted). Itâ€™s fat, but healthy fat and will make you forget all the bad carbo-stuff. It might take getting used to at first, but itâ€™s worth it!
P.P.S. For more information on healthy foods and ways to lose fat there is no way around The Truth About Abs, the bestselling and #1 rated abs program on the internet.
Itâ€™s a fact: Most guys who arenâ€™t good with women donâ€™t use kino (kinesthetics), that is touching, at all! Some of them are so nervous meeting a girl that they forget about touching completely and when it comes to their mind it feels awkward (the logic: I havenâ€™t touched her the whole time, so it would be strange to do it now).
However, one cannot overemphasise the importance of touching. In fact, studies show that 65 % of women accept the offer of a dance when being (briefly) touched on the arm â€“ compared with 43 % when not being touched (Gueguen, N. 2007). On the street, 20 % of women are willing to give their telephone number when you approach with a brief touch on the upper arm. Without touching only 10 % agree. You are even 20 % more likely to get money from a stranger on the street if you approach with a brief touch on the upper arm.
The reason why touching is so effective is because it is unconsciously perceived as an indicator of high status (Major & Heslin, 1982; Summerhayes & Suchner 1978). And as you probably know nothing is more important for women than your status (not even shoes, because itâ€™s your status that is promising shoes etc.). From the evolutionary perspective, men with a high status are ideal because they are able to provide for the family.
Most women donâ€™t consciously register the touch, but unconsciously they feel a positive effect. And no, itâ€™s not weird being â€œthe touchy guyâ€ â€“ as long as you are authentic. That means you need to be the touchy guy all the time, with everyone and not only with her in a cozy lounge. Give guys a high five, a friendly pat on the back, touch the upper arm of a girl when you ask for directions and your value will skyrocket (without being the old-bold-asshole in a Ferrari).
P.S. If you need concrete instructions, you should take a look at the Beyond Words Body Language Course:
How to Approach if She’s Sitting Down by Nick Savoy
A lot of guys won’t approach a woman when she’s sitting down – like at a restaurant, park bench, or if there are couches or places to sit at a bar or club.
And I understand why.Â When I was first figuring out how to meet and attract beautiful women, I had the same problem.Â It’s really awkward to just be standing there when a woman and her friends are all looking at you and you’re obviously the outsider.Â A lot of times it took all the confidence I had just to approach and survive the awkwardness — let alone run smooth, solid game in that situation.
But I figured out a couple solutions.
First off,Â the only thing that’s different is that you have to find a way to get you and her on the same “level”.Â Â Both sitting or both standing, either is fine.
Usually, you’ll have more luck sitting with her and her friends than getting her to stand up with you, but either way works.Â Or if you and your friends are at a nearby table, you can also move her and her whole group over to join you guys.Â (That’s often how it works at a nightclub).
The move that gives a lot of guys the most trouble is joining her group and sitting at her table.Â Here’s how to do it.Â On the way over to her, look around.Â Are there empty seats at her table?Â Great!Â If not, are there chairs nearby that can be easily moved to her table (and is there room)?Â Etc.Â Know what your possibilities are.Â (This takes about one second — it’s not an excuse to delay approaching)
Within a minute – during your transition from your opener – you need to sit down with her.Â Even if you are comfortable standing.Â The best way to do this is to sit downÂ while you are saying something, ideally, while you are using a False Time ConstraintÂ (telling her you have to get back to your friends in a second, etc.).Â The more you can make sitting down look temporary, the better.Â One trick I like to use with some chairs is to sit on them backwards — so like I’m facing the back of the chair (and still facing her of course — turn the chair around, not your body).
The reason for this is, it’s hard to have enough value within a minute that she (and her friends) can decide they want you with them for the rest of the night.Â But when you sit down with them, that’s how they might interpret it — that this guy is settling in for the rest of the night with them.Â They’ll get defensive and attraction becomes much harder.Â But you can’t stay standing for much longer than a minute while they’re sitting because you’ll look like a tool.
Dragging a chair over to her table works the same way.Â Ideally you can keep facing her and talking to her while you reach over and drag a chair.Â Like I wrote inÂ Magic Bullets, don’t ask for permission; just use a false time constraint.
If there are no obvious extra seats, you can steal hers. Reach your arm out, palm up. Tell her to stand up. Raise your arm directly up to “spin” her (she is doing all of the spinning; you just touch her hand) and while doing this, move behind her and sit on her chair. Tease her for a second that you stole her chair and deliver another false time constraint. You’re implying that you’re about to leave and that you will give her the chair back. Within a couple of minutes, you will either need to let her sit back down and go get another chair, move her somewhere else where you can both be comfortable, or put her on your lap.
Here are two scenarios you might encounter, along with a solution on how to handle each of them.
Scenario 1: She is sitting at a large table, there is space available, most nearby tables are full, and there is a reason to be sitting down (e.g., a coffee shop).
This is the easiest scenario, but fairly rare. Just walk straight over to the table and say “do you mind if I sit down?” in the same way you would if it was a man at the table. Then, not right away but within the next 20 seconds, begin a conversation. You should use a very low-energy opener in this situation. This is the easiest way to approach this situation, but you can also use the strategies from earlier in this article if you prefer.
Scenario 2: She is sitting at a table either without extra room or where nearby tables are empty. Sit at a table close enough to hers so that you could comfortably have a conversation. Ignore her for the first couple minutes, and then initiate conversation in the same way as in the previous example. Again, this is just a shortcut. If you prefer, you can still use one of the strategies from earlier in this article.
The general rule is, don’t keep standing while everyone is seated. This will lower your social value. Take a seat as soon as you can, use a false time constraint, and go from there like you talk to any other group of people.
Ross Jeffries: “The first key to understanding Thought Binding is to recognize that people are basically hypnosis machines. If you tell their minds in what direction to move they will do it everytime because people are not used to hearing these kinds of instructions. People are used to hearing babbling about content, in other words, reasons, data and facts, and that kind of stuff they can, do and will resist. But binding the direction of their thoughts? Never.
Here is an example. Suppose there is some very nice young girl you want to impress. You could tell her lots of stuff about you. You know, say something dumb like: “Well lots of women like me because I’m smart and funny and make good money, but other’s find it’s my honesty and looks that they are attracted to”.
Yeah. Right. Well, the problem is, you are tossing those facts, reasons and info at her, and like as not, she’s heard this a zillion times before and isn’t gonna buy it. If you must use an approach like this, why not bind the direction of her thoughts first? You’d do it like this:
“Hey, did you ever meet someone, and just instantly knew that you had to get to know this person better (point to yourself)? Maybe as you went inside and really got all excited about how much fun it’d be to get to know him and how curious and intrigued you were feeling? As you REMEMBER THOSE FEELINGS AS WE’RE TALKING, I’m just curious, do you first imagine how much fun they’d be to hang out with, and then get intrigued, or do you get intrigued first and then imagine how much fun this person would be (point to yourself)?”
Now, what are you doing here? You’re setting up a mood and state of mind that’s going to make her a lot more receptive by:
1. Having her recall what it’s like to be in the mood you want her in (setting up the thought direction).
2. Giving her a command to STAY IN THAT MOOD WHILE SHE TALKS WITH YOU by using the phrase “as you remember those feelings as we’re talking” (Binding the thought direction).
The phrase “AS YOU REMEMBER”…is a pre-supposition. A pre-supposition is just anything that HAS to be ASSUMED to be true in order for the sentence to make sense and be understood. Thus, with “AS YOU REMEMBER”, the presupposition is that they WILL remember.
You’ve now set her up to be MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE to any “facts” about yourself you want to throw because you’ve set up and BOUND the direction of her thinking and emotional processes. The beauty is THEY NEVER CATCH IT, because they aren’t used to hearing it or looking for it. They just know they find you mesmerising, hypnotically fascinating and irresistibly attractive.
Every decision people make is based in and dependent on their state of mind. If you don’t like their decision, change their state of mind before you try to change the decision. So the key here, is to set up the right state using some of the thought binding techniques we’ve discussed, but also to recognize, that if you’re getting resistance from a woman in the form of broken dates, calls promised but not made, etc., you need to back up and ask yourself the following questions:
1. Hmmm. What state of mind is she in right now with regard to me?
2. What’s the final state I want her in?
3. How can I have fun transitioning her to the state I want her to be in when I pounce?
For more info, check out this brand-new eBook.