The Pick-Up Diary

For many guys the kiss seems like the first make or break  it moment when you know if a woman is actually sexually attracted to you. Therefore this moment gets built up into a challenging obstacle that becomes impossible to defeat in the mind and therefore in reality.

A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she won’t move to isolation with you. A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she hasn’t shown you even one IOI (Indicator of Interest). A woman is definitely not going to kiss you if you don’t approach her.

But let’s examine this from another angle. A woman is more likely going to kiss you if you approach her. A woman is more likely going to kiss you if she shows you IOIs. A woman

is very likely going to kiss you if she goes into isolation with you.

Let’s imagine you’ve done everything right. You’ve approached a woman, you’ve been getting IOIs from her, and she moved into isolation with you. Or alternatively you are both now out on a Day 2 (that’s a date to the uninitiated).

The next thing you’re going to be working towards is a kiss close. Because if a woman has done all these things with you then WAKE UP! She wants to kiss you. And GUESS WHAT it’s

your job to KISS HER.

That’s right! You’re the man and that’s your role. You must lead her. If you don’t lead she can’t follow. But if you do lead she’ll more than likely follow and respect you for it, because all women are looking for REAL MEN.

So you know your duty and now all you need to do is perform it. And you will do so in the following manner.

1. ALWAYS USE KINO ESCALATION

There’s a natural order to turning a woman on. They don’t prefer for you to dive straight at their lips for the first kiss. Instead they like a little teasing. They like a little anticipation. They like a little rising action. And that’s your Kino Escalation.

Kino is just a short way of saying playful touching, and not necessarily sexually touching, but the kind of touching that comes before sexual touching.

There’s easy ways to insert kino into your interaction with a woman before you kiss. Here’s a short but not complete list of examples:

-When she makes a sarcastic joke or remark nudge her in the arm with your fist or shoulder lightly and smile.

-Insert kino into routines like The Ring Finger Routine or Palm Reading and touch a woman’s hand lightly with your fingers as you run routines like these.

-Play fun games like thumb wrestling, showing each other secret hand shakes, or high-fiving each other.

-Use Kino to lead her when it’s applicable. For example lead her through crowds at bars and clubs by putting out your hand for her hand and guiding her.

-Do push-pull funny things like tell her she has huge hands and showing her by sizing your hands against hers.

-And of course there are a thousand other ways.

2. USE A KISS CLOSE to SEAL THE DEAL

Yes, I’ve heard it before, “I don’t want to use a kiss close they feel fake.” Well, that’s fine as long as you’re consistently having no trouble kissing women. But if you can’t bridge that gap, you NEED to USE a KISS CLOSE.

A Kiss Close is the device that helps you seal that deal because it gets you right up to the threshold and almost pushes you into the kiss, like a helpful skydiver instructor pushing you out the plane. Once the words or actions of a Kiss Close come out of your mouth you’ve displayed your intentions. You are committed to the kiss.

Now that you know the “why” here’s the “how.” But first a word of caution. A Kiss Close is never begging or asking. You never say “Can I kiss you?” or “Please, kiss me.” This is not a Kiss Close. Observe, these following examples and use them or create your own

along the same principles.

I. Mystery’s Kiss Close

At the moment you feel like there’s a lull in the conversation because the woman might want something more or when she meets your gaze you say the following.

You: “Do you want to kiss me?”

Her: “I don’t know.”

You: “Let’s find out.”

Then move in for the kiss :)

Of course, she could say two other things “No” or “Yes” and here’s how those play out. If she says “Yes” then you kiss immediately.

If she says “No” then you say the following:

You: “Hey I didn’t say you could. It just looked like you had something on your mind.”

II. Style’s Evolution Phase Shift

If you’ve read “The Game” then you already know this kiss close.

It’s brilliant because it incorporates kino escalation into the close. Here it is:

Tell her that she smells good and ask what she’s wearing. Lean in, brush her hair aside, sniff her slowly, moving up from the shoulder to the ear. “Mmmm, that smells good. People don’t pay enough attention to smell. But you’ll notice how animals, before they mate, will always smell each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond to certain things. You are wired to respond when someone smells you.”

“It’s like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You’ll notice how lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other’s mane, right here.” Point to the back of your head then run your hand up the back of her neck and grab a fistful of hair at the roots and

pull it, downwards. She says “Mmmm…” And I say “see.”

Next say “No one knows this, but the most sensitive places on the body are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air, like the back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). Any place where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of

sensitive little nerve endings that release endorphins. Take her arm, bend it a little, and erotically bite the area on the opposite side of the elbow (that crease where it bends). Ask “Does that feel good?”

[Note for the less experienced: If you don’t know how to erotically bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk of skin, not a little pinch and slowly and firmly slide your teeth together until they meet and release the skin. You may want to practice on your own elbow first.]

Now you say, “But do you know what the best thing in the world is? A bite…right…here.” And point to the side of your neck. Then expose your neck and say, “Bite me right here” as if you expect her to. Fifty percent of the time she will. If she doesn’t, just turn away calmly (punish), wait a few seconds, and then turn back and repeat, “Bite me right here.” Usually she will.

Half the time, her bite will be lame. If so, correct her and say, “That’s not how you bite. Come here.” Then give her a good bite on the neck and instruct her to “try again.”

Now look her in the eye, smile mischievously/approvingly, and say, very slowly, “Not bad.” Then glance down at her mouth, back up at her eyes, and kiss!

Here’s the condensed version, write it down and take it into the field with you: smell, grab hair, touch elbow, touch back of knee, bite elbow, bite my neck, bite her neck, triangular gazing, kiss.

But are routines really necessary in order to attract women?

Check out The Natural:

If you want to take a girl home, there are certain things you have to be aware of. Here are four tips for closing at her place:

1) Find out where she lives.

This step seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.
Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.

A few scenarios to consider and how to deal with them:

– Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. “Bet my room is cleaner than yours,” is one example.

– Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.
– Dorm: If there’s a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it’s exciting because it seems like you’re doing something wrong.

– Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it’s time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you’re “taking her on a field trip.”

2) Amp up the physical tension.

If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she’s going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. Here are a few quick pointers to get you started:
– Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.
– Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.
– Start touching the way you’d touch your boss and build to the way you’d touch a girlfriend.

3) “Let’s get you home.”

It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. “Let me show you that book I was talking about,” is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.

It’s harder to do this with her place. “Do you want to take me home with you?” makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. “Let’s go to your place” is totally cliché thanks to every movie from the 1970s. “Let’s get out of here” is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you’re still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you’re going to need something a little more subtle.
Instead, take the lead with “let’s get you home.” It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn’t feel any pressure since there’s really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there’s no reason she can’t bail on her friends, right?

(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start.)

4) Assume you’re going upstairs.

There’s nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she’ll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say “Well, it was nice hanging out with you.” Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out. If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break. Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don’t come up, either because she doesn’t want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you’ll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit” is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.

To find out more information on closing at the girl’s place or getting a girl from the venue back to your place, check out the Love Systems interview series on Logistics. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!