Archive from October, 2010

Top 5 Turn Offs for Women

Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).

1. Pickup Lines

Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.

It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.

On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there.

2. Awkwardness

This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction. Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.

3. Boring

Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.

One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.

4. Neediness

Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words. Examples of being needy:

-calling or texting multiple times a day

-you are too available

-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)

Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).

5. Bragging

Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.

For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.

Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In the book Magic Bullets you will find more details what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.

The 10 Best Disqualifiers

Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or

even annoying.

Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could

see how all those AFCs would get super boring.

The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.

Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a

PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.

So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:

1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.

2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.

3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”

4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to


5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”

When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.

If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.

The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):

1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”

2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”

3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)

4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”

5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”

6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”

7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”

8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”

9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”

10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”