Tagged with " the game neil strauss"

How to Pick Up a Girl – 10 Simple Tips for Storytelling

Telling stories in one of the best ways to generate attraction in pick-up when done correctly. If you want to be able to pick up a girl you gotta learn to tell stories.

Here are some basic guidelines for storytelling:

1. Material. Choose stories that are interesting, fun and relevant to her! Avoid stories about distasteful subjects, i.e. death, car accidents, bad breakups, etc. Use stories you tell often to friends and new people that get big laughs.

2. Be succinct. Write your story out word for word and then gut it. Get rid of everything the listener doesn’t need to know and doesn’t care about. It’s better to cut too much than too little. State the boring but necessary details as succinctly as possible.

3. Lead in. This is how you start the story. The lead in should be congruent with the story to follow. Communicate using words, tonality and energy the type of story to follow. Some examples are, “Oh my God, the funniest/craziest/weirdest thing happened to me the other day!” or “You’ll never believe this, check it out.”

4. Hook. An initial hook is something that makes peoples’ ears perk up. It should be as close to the beginning of the story as possible and should be specifically chosen to make people lean in and pay attention. Bad: My friend called me the other day and left me a message to call him back. So I called him and he went on and on about his Mother’s operation before finally telling me about this party he wanted to go to. Turns out, it’s an S & M party! Good: So the other day I went to this S & M party!

5. Unanswered questions. Craft your story so that there will be unanswered questions in the listener’s mind. You want them to ask you questions that give you the opportunity to further increase your value. Example: So I was picking up my new car the other day and the salesman wouldn’t stop asking me about my watch. The girl I was with finally told him we had to go so she could pick up her instrument for a concert she was doing that night. Unanswered questions: What kind of car did you just buy? What kind of watch were you wearing? Are you rich? Who was the girl you were with? What kind of performance did she have to get to?

6. Allude. In the examples above you’re alluding. You’re alluding to the fact that you have money, as you just bought a new car and have a cool watch. You’re alluding to the fact that you hang out with cool girls. Stated directly, any of this information would sound like bragging, so you allude to it. Make them ask you about it; don’t volunteer it.

7. Subcommunication. This has to do mostly with tonality. The same story can be told playfully, seductively or in a way that generates intrigue. Calibrate to your audience and know what you want to subcommunicate.

8. Convey personality traits. In telling a story, you’re telling someone a great deal about yourself. Know what personality traits want to convey. Craft your stories to subtly tell someone you’re adventurous, rich, famous, creative, courageous, etc.

9. Tonality. This is hard to put in print, but vary your tonality as widely as possible. Talk slow, then fast, then low, then high and then higher! Make transitions smoothly and tell the story in a way that sucks your listener right in. Along with this, act out parts of the story with your hands or your whole body.

10. Have a punch line. A punch line is a line that sums up your story in a powerful way. It’s a way of letting the listener know that the story is over. It doesn’t have to be funny, though in many stories used in the field it will be. Examples: – “That’s the last time I take THAT dog to the beach!” – “From now on I’m asking to see girls’ ID’s!”

P.S. There is a great chapter (17, p. 149-159) on storytelling in Magic Bullets that I can recommend.



Get the "Underground Online Dating Secrets" eBook for FREE & Updates from this Blog!

7 New Year’s Resolutions to Get the Girl

Do you want more success with women in 2012? Then you need to check out these 7 simple tips to get the girl in 2012.

1. Meeting women isn’t just for Saturday nights

Bars and clubs are only a small part of the world. Branch out. Do some Day Game. Develop a social circle that generates attractive women for you to meet naturally. Build a lifestyle that puts beautiful women in your path. On the other hand, don’t try to be one person when you meet women and another person in the rest of your life. If you need to be more social, be more social every day. If you need to be a better storyteller, be a better storyteller every day. And so on.

2. Write down your goals and how you plan to get there

Studies show that people who write down and commit to their goals are over 600% more effective. And don’t forget to do a small step towards them every day.

3. Learn how to flirt over text/sms

If you date women who are under 40, you need to learn to text/sms. Texting should build attraction, increase sexual tension, qualify her, and let her get to know you better. In other words, everything we used to have to do in person. A phone number alone isn’t that valuable, but if you know how to use text conversations to get her dying to see you again – it’s money!

4. Schedule your priorities. Prioritize your schedule

Don’t leave what is important to you for if you have any time left at the end of the day/week/month/year/etc. Put what is important to you on your schedule and stick to it. That means some things will have to fall off. That’s okay. It’s much better to choose what you don’t have time for than to let what is urgent keep you away from what is important.

5. Get good wingmen

Good wingmen force each other to go out, make each other do their approaches, and encourage and help each other when they see something wrong. Good wingmen also let you have a lot more success. While you can definitely attract women when you go out alone it’s a lot better if you have a wingman to help you out. And more fun too!

6. Upgrade your fashion and hairstyle

Clothes and hairstyle say so much about you. To a woman, your clothes and hairstyle are a choice – and she wants to know what they say about you. Are you fashionable and cool? Or out of touch and lame? Are you fun and fresh and exciting? Or boring and afraid to be yourself? Do you respect yourself and have attention to detail? Or do just wear whatever? Make 2012 the year you get your “look” SOLVED if they’re not already.

7. Be man enough to get help

Most men aren’t good at this. Women don’t have this problem. They ask for and share advice all the time – and get much more personal than most men. This gives women a social advantage. Redress the balance in your own life – get some advice!



Get the "Underground Online Dating Secrets" eBook for FREE & Updates from this Blog!

The Cologne Opener by Neil Strauss (The Game)

Here’s a simple opener that Neil Strauss aka Style mentions in The Game:

“Hey guys, I want your opinion on something. I have two different colognes on
my wrists, and I want to see which one you smells better.” (Let them smell the cologne. Be cocky and funny, neg the target, etc.)
“The reason is, I have so many colognes from my ex-girlfriends on my shelf, and I want to give some of them away and keep the best ones.”
After she picks one, pull out a pen and make a mark on your wrist, next to five or ten others.
If she asks “So what are they?”, say “This one is hemlock, this one is chloroform.”, if not, say it anyway ;)


Oct 28, 2012 - Approach, openers, Opening    No Comments

The Bullet-Proof Way to Start a Conversation

Every approach begins with an opener, the springboard to start a conversation. This early moment sets the tone for the interaction and breaks the ice.

Any bullet-proof opener will help you achieve three goals:

1. It’s an un-threatening approach to open the person or group up for having a conversation

2. It stirs up curiosity and captures the person or group’s imagination

3. It’s a springboard for additional follow-up conversational threads

What Makes an Opener “bullet-proof”?

There a few ingredients that allow you to approach smoothly without seeming awkward and give you a built-in “safety net” to eject if necessary. Here are the ingredients:

1. ROOT – The first question that runs through anyone’s mind who is approached by a stranger is this:

“Why is this guy talking to me? What does he want?”

The root in an opener communicates from the beginning WHY you are talking to the person. It explains the reason of your approach.

2. TIME CONSTRAINT – The second question that crosses the mind of anyone who is approached:

“How long do I have to talk to this guy? When will he leave again?”

(She obviously doesn’t know yet how interesting you really are :)) By embedding a time constraint in your opener, you will answer this question from the beginning. A time constraint looks like this:

“I have only a minute. I’m already late for a meeting.” It also has a second advantage. If you

need to eject, you can, say at any time: “I have to run. Pleasure meeting you.”

3. OPEN-ENDED Question. If you ask a Yes/No question it will be a VERY short conversation. Posing questions that elicit a longer response will give you more opportunities to start another conversational thread and more time to think.

Here’s an example of a bullet-proof opinion opener:

You: Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something. I’m trying to help my friend and I’d like to get a female opinion. (This is the root explaining why you are asking the question)

Group of Girls: What?

You: Okay, I’ve only got a minute. Do you follow the advice given to you by your horoscopes? I have a reason for asking. Let me just get your opinions then I’ll tell you why I’m asking.

(There’s the time constraint and the open ended question)

Group of Girls: …

(Sometimes this will already start a conversation. But there is more. The second part of this opener transitions into a little story)

You: The reason I’m asking is because my friend met a girl at a party last weekend, who said that her horoscope told her that she would meet her future husband. They actually hooked up. Now, the strange thing is, ever since then, my friend can’t stop thinking of her. He always wants to hang out with this girl, 24/7. He says he’s in love with her. Do you think it’s the horoscope’s prediction or just psychology?

Group of Girls: …

(This will lead to conversations about astrology, destiny and a lot of other topics.)

Keep in mind: A good opener is NOT just about the words you say but about HOW you communicate in these 4 levels:

Level 1: The words that you say.

Level 2: The vocal intonation you use.

Level 3: The type of eye contact, facial expression, gestures, and body language you display.

Level 4: The attitude you are feeling, and the energy you are projecting.

What does that mean?

It means just because you know the WORDS, does not mean you can USE the opener. It comes down to PRACTICE and REPETITION.

You will find tons of great (working) openers in the book Magic Bullets. Get it! It will change your life (no exaggeration!).

3 Dating Myths About Women

There are a lot of dating myths out in the world that are false. Here’s Savoy’s Top 3 List:

1. Women want a nice guy.

You have heard and seen this plenty of times; Women saying they all want to date a nice guy, but then they all end up dating the jerk or bad boy. This paradox is as old as the Earth.

Women do want someone who can be nice to them, but also someone who can push their buttons and has strong boundaries. Nice guy lack the latter and that is why especially beautiful women don’t end up dating the nice guy. If you are one of the nice guys, try to tease girls more and fooling around with them. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

2. Dating should be fair.

This is a big one. It goes like this: “I shouldn’t be doing all the pursuing and all the work, dating should be fair”. If you recognize yourself, stop right now.

In the dating world, the guy has to be proactive about it. Just accept this. You can’t expect for women to approach you and seduce you. When one does, it’s most likely a pro (not a professional!).

You can also look at it differently. You have the option to pick the women you want to date. You are the one exercising the freedom of picking. Women don’t. They have to go through a lot of chumps and unfortunately sometimes they still can’t find the right guy.

3. Women hate to be approached.

There is this myth out there that says women hate to be approached. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do you think it takes hours for women to get ready to go out at night? If friends want to have a conversation over a glass of wine, they can do that at home too.

Another popular excuse women use is so they can “dance.” Another excuse to masquerade why women really go out. The real reason women go out is to find a guy, just like you go out to find a girl. Don’t let these excuses women give fool you. The next time you see women out, keep in mind that they want to be approached and swept away. You can be that guy.

One of the reasons this myth is so established is because a lot of guys have no clue how to approach women and they do it in a terrible fashion. For example, using a pickup line does not work and it is the fastest way to get rejected. Instead, with the right fashion, body language, and the right thing to say you can start enjoying conversations with beautiful women. All those topics are covered in the pickup bible “Magic Bullets”.

Advice from Pickup Guru “Style”: How to Be Your Best Self

Imagine right now that you see an attractive woman standing at the bar in a night club.

She is smoking hot. Just your type with long legs, beautiful bouncy breasts, curves, shiny flowing hair, gorgeous piercing eyes.

You approach and open her with the “80′s Dogs Names Opener.” She’s listening and smiling, all is going perfect!

She responds to your opener and she has a silky voice that oozes sex appeal, she smells of creamy vanilla. Her laugh makes your heart pound like a heavy metal kick drum. She’s witty and playful.

You want her…for sure!

You run the “5 Questions Game” as your DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). It goes over wonderfully! She lightly touches your arm…an IOI (Indicator Of Interest)! You toss a DQ (DisQualifier), smiling while saying “Hey, you can look, but don’t touch the merchandise.”

She flips her hair back another IOI!

You move her to isolation on the smoking patio. You run “The Cube” to build comfort.

Next you use “Style’s Elicit Values Routine” and qualify her. You’ve played your game perfectly up to this point. And then…

…YOU GET STUCK.

You run out of material. Your perfect sarge starts to fall apart.

She starts to become unsure of why she’s here with you. She tries to elicit value from you to feel more comfortable about her choice. She needs answers. She needs to know more about you before she’ll let you kiss her luscious soft cherry lips.

Who is this guy really?” she wonders.

You might remember Style’s words from “The Game:”

“What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self: It’s a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.”

So here is Style’s wisdom: “We all have an idea of who we want to be. The sad truth is that most people never get there. They don’t get to live life to the fullest being their bestselves because they don’t focus on it. The first step is realizing your goals and making them real. Write your goals down. That’s the first step.”

Writing your goals down is a way of making them more real. It’s the first small step to making a commitment to yourself that you will get better. So, just write down your goals down and you will be on your way to become your best self and finally will not get stuck as you will be your own DHV just by existing!

Top 10 Conversation Openers

If you want to approach a woman you need to know what to say. Most men are so dazzled by the beauty of a hot woman that they simply don’t know how to start a conversation with her. They start thinking what to say and moments later the girl is gone. If this happens again and again, it can be very frustrating…But there is a solution to this problem:

Use openers. Openers are conversation starters which you memorize before the approach. This way you don’t have to deal with the common problem of not knowing what to say in such a situation. Forget about pickup lines. They are funny but not really appropriate to start a conversation with a woman. So, without further chitchat, here are the

Top 10 Conversation Openers:

1) Hey guys, I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women? Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…

2) Hey guys, let me get your take on this – is kissing cheating? My buddy says it’s not…

3) My friend has this cute little Labrador puppy and he’s searching for a name. Do you have an idea?

4) My sister wants a tattoo. But she’s only 17. Is it ok? What do you think?

5) Hey guys, let me get your take on this. What’s Brad Pitt’s best movie? Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…

6) I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a perfume…

7) Hey, I need a quick opinion on something. I want to have my hair dyed blond (/black). Do you think it fits me?

8 ) Hey, I need a quick opinion on something. It’s really important…Do you floss before or after you brush?

9) Hey guys, help me settle a quick debate. If you were Brad Pitt who would you choose: Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Me and my buddy…

10) Hey guys, let me get your take on this. Me and my buddy are not sure – why do so many girls kiss each other in the club?

Of course you can develop your own opener. Just think of things you are curious about and are also interesting to other people.

Never open with “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” as it makes you sound insecure and lowers your status. As a self-confident man you don’t need to apologize for a question or statement. Also, everybody says this and you definitely don’t want to be like everybody, don’t you? Confidence is a key factor in a conversation with a woman as all women are attracted to confident guys. The reason is that it demonstrates a high status.

P.S. If you approach a group of people, make sure you engage all the members – even the guys. Otherwise they will haul off their friend from you.

The 15 Laws of Attraction

Before you go out

1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.)

2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.

You see a beautiful woman…

3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work, grab some from the Routines Manual. Or create your own.

The first few seconds…

5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world. The techniques for having the right body language are explained in dept in the Beyond Words Home Study Course.

6. Speak up! Most men speak too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”

7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”

Getting into the conversation…

8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…

9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.

12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual. Be strict with yourself on this.

Making attraction STICK

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.

14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless. Read the Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game if you’re a phone number + dates guy instead of a One Night Stand guy.

Obviously, this is only scratching the surface. Attraction takes up several chapters of the Magic Bullets Handbook, most of the routines in the Routines Manual are attraction routines, and the interview series goes through the nuts and bolts of a bunch of attraction techniques so you can go over “how to” do them all. But nothing about attraction will ever contradict these 15 Laws, no matter how advanced you are.

If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

3 Ways to Make People Laugh in Bars

Making people laugh is an incredibly quick way to get interest from beautiful women. Not only that, but it makes dealing with their male and female friends a lot easier.

There are a lot of reasons why this works so well – just remember that humor makes you an asset to whomever you are talking to because laughter releases chemicals that make people feel good.

Now, a lot of people think that becoming funny isn’t possible. They think that you just have to be born that way. NOT TRUE. TONs of people go from awful to incredible. All it takes is proper instruction and lots and lots of practice.

(You have to be willing to make mistakes and learn from them, which is an incredible skill set to have when meeting women as well, but that’s a whole other story.)

Here are 3 ways to make strangers laugh in bars:

Way #1 – Self-Deprecation

The average guy tries to make himself look as cool as possible by bragging about his job, his body, and his history. Doing the opposite – as long as it’s obvious that you’re pretending is one of the easiest ways to make people laugh. For example:

-Tell people that you are a virgin and that this is your first time meeting women.

-Explain how living in your parents’ basement is actually a lot cooler than it sounds.

-Let everyone know that you are actively stalking your last ten girlfriends (or should I say “the last ten girls who made the mistake of telling you where they lived…”).

Just make sure it’s obvious that you’re joking without a lame “just kidding” at the end. Pick things to say that anyone meeting you for the first time would know can’t be true.

Way #2 – Ridiculous Statements

This is somewhat similar to self-deprecation because you’re also saying things that are obviously not true. But instead of being negative, they’re just ridiculous. They key to using ridiculous statements is to back them up with good specifics. Specifics make something funnier and more “realistic” even if it’s obviously not true. For example:

“I’m pretty excited. I finally got my pet zebra in the mail.”

“I heard that astronauts drink for free in this bar. Is that true? Being in space makes me thirsty.”

“I just got back from Australia. Did you know that they call oral sex Ôgoing up’ over there?”

My favorite thing about ridiculous statements is that sometimes you don’t even have to make them up. If you ever trip over your words or get confused about the details in a story, then that can be the start of a great ridiculous statement. Pretend that the mistake is what you meant to say. Stick with it and see where it goes.

Way #3 – Misinterpretation

This started out as one of my favorite games to play in bars and ended up being a great way to make people laugh. Because bars are so loud, I’d pretend like I misheard people and respond to things they didn’t say…

THEM: “So, where did you grow up?”

YOU: “No, I don’t need another drink. Thanks, though.”

Then I thought, “this would be even funnier if it wasn’t loud at all.” I started mishearing things in quiet bars and it got even better reactions than before, so long as they could tell that I was kidding. After a while I started misinterpreting everything. Some nights, just for fun, I would decide to interpret everything I heard the exact same way, regardless of what it was…

THEM: “Do you know what time it is?”

YOU: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”

Or

THEM: “I grew up in Philadelphia.”

YOU: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”

If you’re going to go out and try misinterpretation tonight, make sure you are mishearing them in a way that makes you look good. For example, always assume they are hitting on you, or are asking for your phone number, or trying to buy you a drink. So in a way, this is kind of the opposite of Way #1 (Self-Deprecation).

As with anything, practice makes perfect, so don’t be afraid to go out there and land flat a few times. At least you’ll have a good time doing it!

The BEST way to get good with girls (in just 3 days)!

What’s the fastest and most effective way to get good with girls?

Infield training? For sure, but without theory?

Infield training and seminars? Almost there…

Infield training, seminars AND learning from the best PUAs in the world?

You name it!

The guys from Love Systems are hosting the biggest dating conference – the Super Conference.

All the best pickup artist and dating coaches gather in Las Vegas (October 15-17 2010) in this one-of-a-kind event. You get the chance to immerse yourself to become the guy all women desire in just three days. It is taking place next month and you definitely do not want to miss this. To get an idea what you can expect, check out the video below:

Super Conference

There are not many seats left, so you better hurry up before they sell out. Click here to claim your ticket.

P.S. Check out this great article about the (last) Super Conference.
Pages:12»