The Pick-Up Diary

Telling stories in one of the best ways to generate attraction in pick-up when done correctly. If you want to be able to pick up a girl you gotta learn to tell stories.

Here are some basic guidelines for storytelling:

1. Material. Choose stories that are interesting, fun and relevant to her! Avoid stories about distasteful subjects, i.e. death, car accidents, bad breakups, etc. Use stories you tell often to friends and new people that get big laughs.

2. Be succinct. Write your story out word for word and then gut it. Get rid of everything the listener doesn’t need to know and doesn’t care about. It?™s better to cut too much than too little. State the boring but necessary details as succinctly as possible.

3. Lead in. This is how you start the story. The lead in should be congruent with the story to follow. Communicate using words, tonality and energy the type of story to follow. Some examples are, “Oh my God, the funniest/craziest/weirdest thing happened to me the other day!” or “You’ll never believe this, check it out.”

4. Hook. An initial hook is something that makes peoples’ ears perk up. It should be as close to the beginning of the story as possible and should be specifically chosen to make people lean in and pay attention. Bad: My friend called me the other day and left me a message to call him back. So I called him and he went on and on about his Mother’s operation before finally telling me about this party he wanted to go to. Turns out, it’s an S & M party! Good: So the other day I went to this S & M party!

5. Unanswered questions. Craft your story so that there will be unanswered questions in the listener’s mind. You want them to ask you questions that give you the opportunity to further increase your value. Example: So I was picking up my new car the other day and the salesman wouldn’t stop asking me about my watch. The girl I was with finally told him we had to go so she could pick up her instrument for a concert she was doing that night. Unanswered questions: What kind of car did you just buy? What kind of watch were you wearing? Are you rich? Who was the girl you were with? What kind of performance did she have to get to?

6. Allude. In the examples above you’re alluding. You’re alluding to the fact that you have money, as you just bought a new car and have a cool watch. You’re alluding to the fact that you hang out with cool girls. Stated directly, any of this information would sound like bragging, so you allude to it. Make them ask you about it; don’t volunteer it.

7. Subcommunication. This has to do mostly with tonality. The same story can be told playfully, seductively or in a way that generates intrigue. Calibrate to your audience and know what you want to subcommunicate.

8. Convey personality traits. In telling a story, you’re telling someone a great deal about yourself. Know what personality traits want to convey. Craft your stories to subtly tell someone you’re adventurous, rich, famous, creative, courageous, etc.

9. Tonality. This is hard to put in print, but vary your tonality as widely as possible. Talk slow, then fast, then low, then high and then higher! Make transitions smoothly and tell the story in a way that sucks your listener right in. Along with this, act out parts of the story with your hands or your whole body.

10. Have a punch line. A punch line is a line that sums up your story in a powerful way. It’s a way of letting the listener know that the story is over. It doesn’t have to be funny, though in many stories used in the field it will be. Examples: – “That’s the last time I take THAT dog to the beach!” – “From now on I’m asking to see girls’ ID’s!”

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Do you want more success with women in 2012? Then you need to check out these 7 simple tips to get the girl in 2012.

1. Meeting women isn’t just for Saturday nights

Bars and clubs are only a small part of the world. Branch out. Do some Day Game. Develop a social circle that generates attractive women for you to meet naturally. Build a lifestyle that puts beautiful women in your path. On the other hand, don?™t try to be one person when you meet women and another person in the rest of your life. If you need to be more social, be more social every day. If you need to be a better storyteller, be a better storyteller every day. And so on.

2. Write down your goals and how you plan to get there

Studies show that people who write down and commit to their goals are over 600% more effective. And don?™t forget to do a small step towards them every day.

3. Learn how to flirt over text/sms

If you date women who are under 40, you need to learn to text/sms. Texting should build attraction, increase sexual tension, qualify her, and let her get to know you better. In other words, everything we used to have to do in person. A phone number alone isnt that valuable, but if you know how to use text conversations to get her dying to see you again? – its money!

4. Schedule your priorities. Prioritize your schedule

Don’t leave what is important to you for if you have any time left at the end of the day/week/month/year/etc. Put what is important to you on your schedule and stick to it. That means some things will have to fall off. That’s okay. It’s much better to choose what you don’t have time for than to let what is urgent keep you away from what is important.

5. Get good wingmen

Good wingmen force each other to go out, make each other do their approaches, and encourage and help each other when they see something wrong. Good wingmen also let you have a lot more success. While you can definitely attract women when you go out alone it’s a lot better if you have a wingman to help you out. And more fun too!

6. Upgrade your fashion and hairstyle

Clothes and hairstyle say so much about you. To a woman, your clothes and hairstyle are a choice – and she wants to know what they say about you. Are you fashionable and cool? Or out of touch and lame? Are you fun and fresh and exciting? Or boring and afraid to be yourself? Do you respect yourself and have attention to detail? Or do just wear whatever? Make 2012 the year you get your “look” SOLVED if they’re not already.

7. Be man enough to get help

Most men aren’t good at this. Women don’t have this problem. They ask for and share advice all the time – and get much more personal than most men. This gives women a social advantage. Redress the balance in your own life – get some advice!

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You probably know from experience that you can make a lot of mistakes interacting with women. Women are much more sensitive about social dynamics than men. They can figure out how experienced you are with women in minutes – if not in seconds.

The reason is simple: Women have a much higher interaction experience than men because on the one hand they interact much more than men in general (with men and women). On the other hand since they are 13 years old, guys are hitting on them. So the sum of experience women have with men is much higher than the other way round. Men have a lot to catch up on in this area.

What does this mean for you? Simply that the more experiences you make interacting with women, the BETTER you will get (provided that you don’t make the same mistakes again and again). This means you have to practice a lot. But how can you actually attract women?

1) Improve the way you dress.

Looks are NOT the most important part of attracting women, but they are important, because they affect how somebody who doesn’t know you will assess you. People judge by the looks and you have only seconds to demonstrate that you are a man of style. Don’t mess it up with boring sweaters and dirty sneakers.

You don’t have to dress like a gigolo either. If you look like a software engineer, try to loosen your clothes a little bit – add some color to it. Get rid of plaid and Hawaiian shirts. Look for some interesting necklaces, rings or wristbands. Why? Because every woman wants to know what they stand for. You also will stand out from the mass.

2) Become more social.

This simply means that on every given event where a lot of people come together, you should interact with different women and men. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it.

This might be the most important tip. Why? Because one of the things women look for in a man is (social) status. Standing alone in a corner with a beer in your hand watching all the other people having fun is the lowest status you can demonstrate. You think women are too busy talking to someone to notice it? Think again. Women have something like a radar for social status. They notice in seconds who’s the center of attraction at a party (and feel drawn to this person) and who’s the loser nobody’s talking to.

So, try to become the center of attraction interacting with people. It’s not easy, especially if you are not a social person. But it’s no nuclear science either – you can definitely LEARN it. For example you can come up with: “Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women?” It’s a topic everyone likes to talk about and nobody will shut you down on this one. The tricky thing with this “opener” (a question or statement you start a conversation with) is that you need to explain why you are asking. So say something like “I read a female magazine (at the dentist) today and they did this study. Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…”

If you are a shy person and can’t bring yourself to talk to “strangers”, please consider this: Shyness is not in your genes. It all comes back to a habit. For the most part you are shy because you don’t talk to people! Make the first step, than make the second and the third. And before you can say knife being social will become your new habit.

You don’t want to change yourself? Maybe this will motivate you: If you carry on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll carry on getting what you’ve always got – the same poor outcomes (NO girls, NO fun, NO happiness).

3) Be different.

This sounds like an ad slogan and is nonetheless a key point in attracting women. Try to develop a unique personality, your own point of view on anything. Have concrete goals in life.

Why? Because it makes you interesting, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with. It’s a fact: Women like men with (concrete!) goals because this demonstrates a strong, assertive character.

Being different also means that you can demonstrate (a special) value – something not everyone can do. This doesn’t mean that you have to play a greasy song on the guitar (but do so if you can!). For example you can ask her about the last time she laughed with all her heart (say a friend asked you this and you didn’t know what to answer first). Ask her to tell you about the happiest moment of her life or a special moment in her childhood and then tell yours. Try to relate to her thoughts and feelings, but don’t overdo it.

Read up on palm reading, dream interpretation or psycho tests (it’s not that difficult to memorize this stuff as all those “tests” work with given patterns) and use it on your next date. Women love all kinds of tests.

Don’t forget: it’s not only about the content but your presentation as 70-80 % of the communication is non-verbal. Facial expression, body language (posture, gestures) and tonality are extremely important. With that being said, is makes sense to work on your voice (learn to speak more slowly and with a deeper voice), your gestures (try to eliminate nervous movements etc.) and your gaze (practice smiling in from of a mirror). The most effective way to find out what you need to work on is to ask a good friend to videotape you (while approaching someone).

Although it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of fun too! And you will get better every time you perform those things. So, don’t put it off, start practicing today!

P.S. Did you know that if she touches (or plays with) her hair she’s probably interested in you?

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Ross Jeffries: “The first key to understanding Thought Binding is to recognize that people are basically hypnosis machines. If you tell their minds in what direction to move they will do it everytime because people are not used to hearing these kinds of instructions. People are used to hearing babbling about content, in other words, reasons, data and facts, and that kind of stuff they can, do and will resist. But binding the direction of their thoughts? Never.

Here is an example. Suppose there is some very nice young girl you want to impress. You could tell her lots of stuff about you. You know, say something dumb like: “Well lots of women like me because I’m smart and funny and make good money, but other’s find it’s my honesty and looks that they are attracted to”.

Yeah. Right. Well, the problem is, you are tossing those facts, reasons and info at her, and like as not, she’s heard this a zillion times before and isn’t gonna buy it. If you must use an approach like this, why not bind the direction of her thoughts first? You’d do it like this:

“Hey, did you ever meet someone, and just instantly knew that you had to get to know this person better (point to yourself)? Maybe as you went inside and really got all excited about how much fun it’d be to get to know him and how curious and intrigued you were feeling? As you REMEMBER THOSE FEELINGS AS WE’RE TALKING, I’m just curious, do you first imagine how much fun they’d be to hang out with, and then get intrigued, or do you get intrigued first and then imagine how much fun this person would be (point to yourself)?”

Now, what are you doing here? You’re setting up a mood and state of mind that’s going to make her a lot more receptive by:

1. Having her recall what it’s like to be in the mood you want her in (setting up the thought direction).
2. Giving her a command to STAY IN THAT MOOD WHILE SHE TALKS WITH YOU by using the phrase “as you remember those feelings as we’re talking” (Binding the thought direction).

The phrase “AS YOU REMEMBER”…is a pre-supposition. A pre-supposition is just anything that HAS to be ASSUMED to be true in order for the sentence to make sense and be understood. Thus, with “AS YOU REMEMBER”, the presupposition is that they WILL remember.

You’ve now set her up to be MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE to any “facts” about yourself you want to throw because you’ve set up and BOUND the direction of her thinking and emotional processes. The beauty is THEY NEVER CATCH IT, because they aren’t used to hearing it or looking for it. They just know they find you mesmerising, hypnotically fascinating and irresistibly attractive.

Every decision people make is based in and dependent on their state of mind. If you don’t like their decision, change their state of mind before you try to change the decision. So the key here, is to set up the right state using some of the thought binding techniques we’ve discussed, but also to recognize, that if you’re getting resistance from a woman in the form of broken dates, calls promised but not made, etc., you need to back up and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Hmmm. What state of mind is she in right now with regard to me?
2. What’s the final state I want her in?
3. How can I have fun transitioning her to the state I want her to be in when I pounce?

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Girls always get excited if you show them some magic tricks?. Here is a piece that you can do at any time and freak people out at clubs and parties:

Ask two friends if they would take part in a psychological test with you. Ask one of them to close their eyes. Whilst their eyes are closed you tap their friend on the hand twice. You then ask the person with their eyes closed to open their eyes and ask them if they felt anything. They will swear that they felt two taps on their hand – even though you were nowhere near them… in fact you could even be stood the other side of the room.

The person with their eyes open will be amazed that their friend felt your touch even though she KNOWS you didn?™t go near her. The person with their eyes closed will be so positive that she felt two solid taps that initially she simply won?™t believe that you were nowhere near her! When everybody else watching confirms that you indeed did not touch her – the two friends, plus everyone else in the room will be amazed!

How it works:

You actually touch both people! The trick uses a concept known as ‘dual reality. Each of the friends thinks that the ‘psychological test is happening at a different time. You ask Friend 1 to close their eyes, then secretly tap their hand as you are moving towards Friend 2. After a few seconds, you dramatically (but silently) tap Friend 2. Finally you ask Friend 1 to open their eyes. The trick is complete.

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Another simple routine to impress your audience (you can use this in sets too) is the number reading routine?. Heres how its done: tell the spectator to think of a two digit number between 1 and 50. Both digits should be different and odd

Now eliminate the invisible options by asking whether it?™s a ‘two-digit number?™ (eliminates the numbers 1-9) and odd numbers (eliminates another twenty options). The most popular number people think off is 37. If you are writing the prediction down, make the ‘7?™ look similar to the number ‘1?™, as 31 is the second most popular number.

P.S. The popular answer for a number between 1 and 1.000 is 333.

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If you see a woman you’d like to meet, but you don’t approach her, that’s “approach anxiety.” This is a common problem for men.

• Give your wingman $100 at the start of the night. He gives you $10 back every time you make an approach. You’ll get in the habit very quickly.
• Keep a journal of your nights out and how many approaches you did. You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
• Do a few “warm up” approaches before you get to the bar or club or party. A club I used to go to a lot had a dive bar right beside it – so I’d go to the dive bar for 20 minutes, “warm up” with some approaches to get me in a talkative mood, then I went to the club.
• Momentum is crucial. Approach as soon as you get in the club. Even if it’s just to ask the time. Don’t let inertia take over. (Lots of people forget this rule.)
• Before you go out, write down a list of excuses why someone might not approach. (E.g., “She’s not hot enough,” “I want to get a drink/go to the bathroom first,” “She looks like she’s talking to her friends,” “I don’t have an opener ready,” etc.) Decide in advance if any of those excuses “count.” When you go out, don’t talk yourself out of an approach with an excuse that doesn’t count.

The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is of course to improve your game so that you WANT to approach, because each interaction will be exciting and fun. It’s amazing how quickly approach anxiety disappears after you do the first ones.

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The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures. All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech , how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing.

Here are the most common mistakes in pick-up:

– Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)
– Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
– Talking too fast (being nervous)
– Talking too much (trying to impress her)
– Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice)
– Drinking (to become comfortable)
– Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first)
– Wrong Body language (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in)

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If you want to approach a woman you need to know what to say – you need an opener. You probably already know the “Hey guys, me and my buddy have a debate: Who lies more – men or women?” or “Is kissing cheating?” or “Do you floss before or after you brush?” -openers. So how about some fresh ones? Here is a list of new openers (by PUA_Swagger, Zeyn, Reef, Dallas, Gigantor, The MusicMan, Galego, Wadders, Silver Tongue, Themoose, Static, Tao, SmoothCriminal):

YOU: “You seem like you’re smart.”
HER: “Yes, I am.”
YOU: “OK, we’ll see how smart you are. I’m going to ask three questions and you have to answer as fast as you can, you game?”
HER: “Sure.”
YOU: “OK, do you own a refrigerator?”
HER: “Yes.”
YOU: “What’s the most common color refrigerator ever made?”
HER: “White.”
YOU: “What do cows drink?
HER: “Milk.”
YOU: “Nooooooo! Wrong, I don’t know if we could hang out.”

YOU: “I have to get back to my friends in a minute, but I need a female opinion on something.”
HER: “What’s that?”
YOU: “My ten-year-old brother Mike just texted me, and apparently there’s this girl in his class named Stephanie that he has a huge crush on, but he isn’t sure how to express it to her. If you were ten years old again, how would you want a boy to show you that he likes you?”
HER: “Well I think that _________.”
YOU: That makes sense. I’ll let him know he should try that.”

YOU: “Let me buy you and your friends a drink.”
HER: “OK.”
(Roll up to the bar and get however many corresponding shots of water so it looks like vodka or tequila. Then bring the shots and announce a toast as they wait for me to roll out the scene thinking they just made a sucker out of me. I wait for the response after they shoot the water and walk off. I wait for them to talk shit to build value and establish me as different and then proceed to re-open the set.)

YOU: “Hi, [insert time constraint]. On a scale from one to ten, how good of an age to get married is nineteen?”
HER: “Zero, or five.”
YOU: “So, you agree with me that it’s a bad choice! That’s what I tell my little [sister/cousin/niece] but she won’t listen.”
HER: “It’s an eight, or nine.”
YOU: “But not a ten so you would hesitate.”
HER: “Ummm…yes.”
YOU: “Hesitation is bad news, that’s why I tell my little [sister/cousin/niece] that it’s a bad choice but she won’t listen.”
HER: “Ten! It’s great!”
YOU: “I knew you looked like trouble, I’ll never introduce you to my little (sister/cousin/niece).”

YOU: “Just curious, do you wear the color red a lot? The reason I’m asking is because I read this thing on the Internet about the psychology of color, and how the colors you wear project a certain aspect of your personality to the world. You wearing red means you’re an energetic person, full of excitement. Too much red can overwhelm people, but with just enough, there have been studies done that people surrounded by red feel their hearts beating faster and feel out of breath in a good way. ”

[while using a fake or invisible microphone]
YOU: “How does it feel to be invited here tonight?” (have the frame of asking red carpet like questions)
HER: “________.”
YOU: “Say something to all your adoring fans out there?”

[get close to her and be serious for a moment, after laughing is usually a good time]
YOU: “Did you hear about that car crash that happened at [insert place]?”
HER: “No! What happened?”
YOU: “Well there were two cars…one went this way [cross your right hand to be kinda by her right cheek]. And one went this way [cross my left hand to be kinda by her left cheek]. And then they collided [light tap to both cheeks]!”

YOU: “Out of curiosity, I have to ask—what exactly are you drinking?”
HER: “I’m drinking ______.”
YOU: “Well, the reason I’m asking is because I was just talking with my friend and he was telling me all about how you can tell a lot about a person based on what they drink at Starbucks [or just say any coffee shop]. He seemed really excited about it, and I just had to see if it was true.”
HER: “Haha, oh really? Well what’s a _______ mean?”

>From here just go to a bunch of basic personality types often commenting on her energy (for espresso), sense of calm (tea), sensitivity (chocolate drink), or likes to be pampered/needs time to warm up to people (frappuccino).

YOU: “Hey guys quick question. OK, so it’s almost summer and of course every girl is trying to get a bikini perfect body. And you always see a bunch of girls spending hours and hours on treadmills… say, if you guys work-out, would you ever consider doing weights? I’ll tell you why I am asking in a second. I mean, are you guys the cardio-only girl or the also do weights girl?” (Let them talk amongst themselves and when they answer…I high five the girls that do weights, and tease the girls that only run on treadmills.)

[Note: depending on the time of the year, summer would be “So, it’s summer”, after summer would be “I know summer passed, but of course every girl is still interested in getting a bikini perfect body.”]

YOU: “Hey I really like your ring. You could totally kick someone’s ass with that. I will call you if I ever get into a fight.”

YOU: “Hey X, I want to get your take on something real quick [insert time constraint]. If an average looking guy approached you on the
street or in a bar and had food in his teeth or his fly open, would you let him know?”
HER: “_____________.”
YOU: “Interesting answers, but that’s not my real question. My real question is if the same thing happened but the guy was really attractive, would it make a difference? [be sure to add root of why you’re asking here]”

YOU: “Excuse me, I want your advice for a moment [provide time constraint here] while my friend is at the bar [gesture to wingman at the bar]. We’re only here for a week on business and were wondering where the better places to go are? I’m only asking you because you are better dressed than anyone else in here.”
HER: “________________.”
WINGMAN to YOU: “I can’t leave you alone for 2 minutes can I?”
YOU: “No I was just asking these, girls where’s a good place to go round here, but they haven’t got me convinced that they know.” [give playful smile to let them know you are only teasing]

YOU: “On a scale from 1 to 10, what’s the meaning of life?”

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If you have difficulties calling a girl and talking to her on the phone, here is a list with useful tips:

1. No matter who answers the phone introduce yourself, “Hi this is …Is … there?”

This shows you are confident to be you and it establishes some rapport with a housemate or parent which can be used later.

2. If she is not there, chat up the person on the phone. “So what’s your name? I’m not coming on to you or anything, as far as I know you could have three eyes and green skin but has anyone ever said you have a real sweet phone voice?” etc… Do not be in a hurry. This shows you feel you are not worthy of a person’s time and shows a lack of confidence. Also, when you slow down, your delivery will improve with clarity and nuances in your voice.

Try to talk about five minutes with this person and do not feel bad if they have to cut you off. However if you have run out of material end the conversation. It’s extremely important getting a person who shares her house to like you over the phone. It will make your life much easier.

3. Okay, you get her on the phone. Do not ask her if she is busy. Do not ask her what she is doing. Do not remind her where she met you. Do not believe you need to be the first to end the conversation. That will make you rush and ruin your rap. Talk slowly and confidently.

“Hi … This is … You would not believe what my niece did yesterday.” Or “Remember how we were talking about the sexiest food and you said watermelon. Well I fed some watermelon to my cat and he is looking at me in the strangest way…” Go right into material.

4. Keep the charm flowing and return her to the fun, sexy mood you left her in. Work to re-attract her.

5. After fifteen minutes or so, the close should be easy. Just talk about it as if it is already a done fact – hardly worth mentioning. Casual like, “Let’s get together this week.” Then shut up. She will then recite her schedule and let you know where her free-times are. Pick out a day and time which will work for you.

6. If she claims to be too busy to get together, either act like you didn’t even hear it, go back into material and then try to re-close with different language or try to do something immediately, “Let’s go for ice-cream. I can pick you up in ten minutes.” If that still doesn’t work just say, ‘Nice chatting with you.” and let her go. Maybe repeat the process in a couple weeks or call other girls.

7. If you put her in the right mood you will have very little problem arranging a meet. Half the time the girls will bring up a meet. Always work on her mood. Steam roll her into a mood of laughing and fun. Keep in mind: In order to work the phone well, you must have confidence in your verbal abilities. Work on your tone. Work on you speed. Work on your material. Practice steamrolling your friends into a good mood.

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