The Pick-Up Diary

According to Neil Strauss, author of The Game, there are several switches that must be flipped in a woman to make her feel attracted to you. Here is his list (there is no order, the switches just should be flipped at some point)

1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated.

2. You must show her that you have either ambition, motivation, or job/financial security. In other words, you must have a life and goals. This is about demonstrating that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful (unless you’re in your 30s, at which point you should have achieved something).

3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. This is about showing her that you HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where demonstrations of higher value (DHVs) are useful.

4. You must be the PRIZE of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends. This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, cocky/funny, and not supplicating. This point is about demonstrating all of the many qualities of CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY

5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect on, the more chemistry you create. This point is about demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 is about hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). The idea here is to demonstrate your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you RECOGNIZE SOMETHING SPECIAL IN HER THAT ATTRACTS YOU TO HER. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.

P.S. Always keep in mind that your body language tells more about you than anything else.

P.S. This “Mind Hack” Makes Hot Girls Want You

First of all, you don’t need to use seven coins to do this trick. You can do it with either three or five coins. But seven coins are most effective. Half-dollars are the best size coins to use.

So, here’s the trick: You count out seven coins (or five, or three) on to her hand. You then put out your left hand and ask her to put four coins upon your left palm. When that is done puts out your right hand and have the remaining three coins put, one at a time, on that palm.

Then call attention to the fact that you have four coins on your left palm and three on your right. Take one away from your left hand and drop it with the rest in your right. Close both hands into fists and call attention once more to the number of coins in each hand.

Now you have the four in the right and only the three in the left. Jingle the coins and ask her how many coins you have in each hand. No matter what she says, open your right hand to show that you have all seven coins in that hand, and then open your left to show its empty. Then, if the coins are borrowed hand back the money.

How it works: Your goal is to get her worried over the location of that one coin as it gives you a chance to steal the three coins. You start with four coins on the left hand and three on the right to get the people thinking there is a different number of coins in the two hands.

When the thumb and first finger of the right hand – the other three fingers are closed to hold the three coins in that hand – go over to the left hand to pick up the coin, her eyes will follow that coin.

The moment the right hand moves away from the left, the left hand is closed and turned over back up. On this turnover the closing and turnover are one move, the fingertips slide the coins to the heel of the palm, so that they extend down edgeways between the tips of the fingers and the palm. In other words, the edges of the coins point towards the floor and stick out of the closed fist.

The right hand is then turned palm up, with the third, fourth, and little fingers opened.
The fourth coin is then dropped from between the thumb and first finger so that it falls on the rest. The right hand is then closed and the fist turned over, as you have done it with the left hand. Both hands are now closed and are back up.

Then you ask where the coins are – how many are in each hand. Your right hand moves toward the left as you talk and you point either with the first finger, which you open or with the thumb.

Then you say the number of coins in the right hand. At the same time, your left hand moves over to the right and it looks like the right hand moved at the same speed away from the left. Actually the hands meet, and in a sort of rolling motion, so that the coins sticking out of the left hand are caught in the same grip by the fingers of the right hand. The left hand then points with the extended first finger, or the thumb, at the right hand, as you tell the number of coins in the right hand.

At this point the coins stick down below the right hand; that is the extra three coins do, the other four are still in the right fist. You then start to shake the coins and on the first shake the right hand opens enough to get the outside coins in the hand with the others. Both hands are shaken at the same time and she will believe she hears coins in each hand.

Once again the hands are held still and you ask her to name the number of coins in each hand. Then you say “Chams cha la ta ax ba (which means I hope you like this trick). Come, hold out your hand. And here are seven coins – and heres nothing.”

P.S. This “Mind Hack” Makes Hot Girls Want You

It’s in every magazine, every talk show and you hear it all the time: women want a guy with a good sense of humor.

Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How do you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?

The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.

You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.

You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.

Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.

So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!

The great thing about humor is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.

Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing

There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment here are two super easy ones.

The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:

“I’m totally breaking up with you. I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”

You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:

“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”

Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?

The second technique is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:

“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”

or

“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”

In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!

The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.

Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.

There are a lot more ways to turn things sexual, which you can find in the book Magic Bullets. Get it if you are clueless on turning conversations a little more sexual.

The Penny, Nicholas, and Dime Routine by Style is a simple routine to demonstrate higher value (DHV). The best DHVs are those that make the woman or the group you

approach have a great time. These types of DHVs set you up as the guy who creates the good time for them. Everyone wants to be around that guy.

For the Penny, Nicholas and Dime Routine you’ll need a penny, a nickel and a dime. You could carry the coins around, but you could also use this opportunity to create an opener.

“Hey, do you have a penny, nickel, and dime? I want to show my friend something cool.”

Once you have the coins, it’s time to begin. Here’s how it goes:

“My friend showed me this cool game. It’s a trip. You ready?

OK…”

Present your left hand palm up, fingers together, to create a table for your effect.

Spread the coins out in your palm, heads up, in a line.

Place the penny nearest your finger tips, the nickel in the middle, and the dime nearest your wrist. This ordering will move the energy of the game directed toward you as you do the pointing.

Now say and do the following:

“Ben’s mother had three children: Penny, Nicholas, and …”

When you say “Penny”, point at the penny.

When you say “Nicholas”, point at the nickel.

If whoever you’re playing the game with isn’t looking at the coins, make eye contact with her, then shift your gaze to the coins, so she will follow your gaze and look at the coins.

Then point at the dime and keep quiet. She’ll feel the conversational lead and attempt to fill in the verbal blank.

They might say something like, “Dime-o”, or “Dime-us” or some other name that isn’t correct.

Go ahead and stop reading this passage for a moment, and figure out the right answer for yourself.

Got it?

The third child’s name is Ben because this whole game started by saying “Ben’s mother had three children…” Then two of the children (Penny and Nicholas) were named, by process of

elimination the third child must be Ben because it’s his mother!

Now, if she doesn’t get the correct answer, then repeat the exact same procedure over.

When you repeat the the patter feel free to put the coins in her hand by saying, “Gimme your hand,” or you could just proceed by gently taking her wrist, lifting her hand, with the fingers together, palm up, in a platform position. Place the coins on her palm in a line in order, penny, nickel, and dime pointing at you.

Repeat the quote while pointing at the appropriate coins.

“Ben’s mother had three children: Penny, Nicholas, and …”

If after a few repeats she still doesn’t get it. You can remove the coins and say, “Now don’t think about the coins, close your eyes and just listen.”

Now when you say the phrase again emphasize the words BEN and THREE. “BEN’S mother had THREE children…”

Usually, this gives her that “A-ha!” moment and she gets it. Without the visual stimulation of the coins and pointing, it’s much easier to solve the riddle. The reason why this works is

because of the visual misdirection. The penny-Penny and nickel-Nicholas connection made an inference that there was some indirect link between what was spoken and what was seen, namely, the dime.

If she still can’t get it, promise to tell her the secret of the Penny, Nicholas, Dime game later or the next time you hang out. This intrigue will help secure another date, or, if she’s the

intensely curious type that can’t wait, she might hang on your arm, begging “Tell me. Tell me!” Which isn’t a bad thing either. Tell her you will show her the secret only if she knows a friend there at the venue that you guys can play the game on together.

When you’re performing for an audience of one, especially one you have a special interest in, ground the emotions and anchor the good feelings to you. After she achieves the game’s revelation, you can add some romantic patter to enhance your relationship

and bring you two closer together:

“Now isn’t that amazing! It’s funny how once we see things in a certain way, we can’t ever go back to seeing them the old way again. Like with this game, there was some connection right in front of our eyes and ears but we couldn’t see it or hear it. Yet the pleasantly surprising solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.”

P.S. There are tons of great routines in the book Magic Bullets.