Do you want a phone number and a date? Or do you want to take her home? Or is she your next girlfriend? The distinction is important, because each path leads in a different direction.
1. How to pick up a girl if you want casual hookups. Focus on Physical Escalation (touching) and Logistics (getting her alone with you somewhere where you can take things to the next level). Remember to touch early and touch often. Find out early in the night who she is with and where she is going later. A couple quick tips:
– Make the numbers match. If you’re alone and the woman you meet is with her friend, get an instant wingman. You can use opinion openers with guys you don’t know in order to draw them into the conversation.
– Whispering is a great way to create sexual tension – it lets you get right close and is a huge turn-on to many women (always have chewing gum with you ;)
– In Day Game, physical escalation is less important and logistics are more important. Don’t try to seduce her on the street. Make a date for later that night.
– Use roleplays
2. If you want phone numbers and dates then it’s mostly about the Emotional Connection. Physical Escalation/ touching is less important on the first meeting (but still do it) and Logistics aren’t usually very important at all.
Emotional connection comes through conversation. So you need great conversation and flirting skills. Here are a couple of flirting/conversation skills:
– Never ask two questions in a row. Alternate statements and questions.
– Don’t play tourist in her life. Add value.
– Flirting is playful, not serious. It’s also supposed to be fun. Make her have fun.
– Cut off any conversation topics that won’t help you (e.g., her ex-boyfriend, her sick cat, her 6am wakeup call tomorrow, etc.).
– Be at the same energy level as her or slightly higher.
The second part of this is that once you get her phone number, you still need to turn it into a date. Here are a couple hints to get you going:
– Texting is usually better start than phoning for the first contact.
– Always sign your texts. If she has to respond with “who is this?” it kills the emotional momentum.
– If you call, get off the phone first, after about 10-12 minutes. Never leave voicemails.
– Never text her back quicker than she texted you back.
– Be unpredictable. Alternate long and short texts, funny and serious, questions and statements.
– Use statements more than questions. You don’t lose anything if she doesn’t respond to “I’m going to the House of Blues tonight!” You do if she doesn’t respond to “Would you like to come to the House of Blues with me?”
– Use Callback Humor whenever possible. If you did any role-plays when you met, start the call by continuing the role play. If you gave her a goofy nickname, start by calling her that.
3. If you are looking for a girlfriend or long-term relationship
Here’s where you need the full package. You need the conversation skills, you need the phone and text game skills (because there are going to be a few dates before she becomes your girlfriend and you’ve got to keep things going in between those dates).
You’ll also need – unlike in the last two cases – an attractive lifestyle. A woman can hook up with you without caring about what you do with your time, but for a woman to become your girlfriend, she has to want to join your life. That’s friends, hobbies, job, social life, interests, etc.
Here are a few handy lifestyle hints:
Prioritize your schedule and schedule your priorities. If you don’t make time for what’s important to you, it won’t happen. It’s much better to be passionate about something that she might not be interested in than to adopt “high status” hobbies you don’t connect with. Women love hearing men talk about something with passion and love telling their friends about it.
P.P.S. The holiday season is coming. And it’s not just about stress and travel – it’s also a great opportunity to attract women â€“ especially holiday shopping!
The usual Day Game system that most men use will also work just fine at the mall during the holidays. But if you’re shyer, there’s another way. Approach a woman you’re attracted to with something like: “My sister says she needs a new purse for Christmas. What’s in style these days?”
The transition from this is easy; ask her to help you pick one out. Be near a purse store when you start the conversation and save your receipt. Or ask her what she’s doing and then “realize” you’re both doing your holiday shopping at a lot of the same stores, so why not do it together?