For his upcoming book (Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead) Neil Strauss aka Style, author of “The Game”, looked over two decades spent touring with rockers and rappers and realized there were a few common lessons and themes that we can all apply to our lives.
One of the things he noticed was that musicians who believed that they were destined to be famous, that being a celebrity was “God’s plan” for them, were more likely to get famous and stay there.
On the other hand, musicians who got famous, and then felt like they got lucky or didn’t deserve to be there any more than other talented (but lesser known) musicians tended to fall out of the limelight pretty quickly.
Strauss even found similar patterns in other fields – from sports to survival. For example liver transplant patients were three times more likely to live if they sought God’s help and intervention. And disaster victims in survival situations who prayed were more likely to live than those who didn’t.
The key point here however isn’t religion. It’s BELIEF and the power of POSITIVE THINKING. According to Strauss success comes from acting out of confidence, conviction, commitment, and deservedness, no matter what critics, haters, and competitors are saying and thinking–with no fear of failure (and with no problem bouncing back undiscouraged if one doesn’t succeed at first).
Conversely, walking down the path to your goals with fear, doubt, and uncertainty as your traveling companions is a sure way to slow down – if not completely bring to a halt – your journey. Even when successful, having a feeling of undeservedness when you reach your goal will ultimately lead to self-sabotage.
Strauss’ advice: whether you’re looking at the woman (or women or lack thereof) in your life or your career goals for the new year, ask yourself: WHAT DO I DESERVE?
Neil Strauss’ article in the Wall Street Journal.
A lof of guys make the mistake of asking the girl whether she is single. Most of the girls that go out to clubs and bars are, but they say they have a boyfriend. This normally means one thing – they are not attracted to you (yet).
Girls use this line to weed out guys they don’t like but also to test guys (this is called a shit test). If you react with “Oh! That’s a pity” and leave you’ve have lost.
Instead you should simply ignore this comment and continue with your routines. Just say cool as if she told you her name and start talking about something else.
Don’t mention her “boyfriend” at all! Suppose, she has a boyfriend and you start talking about him in any way (for example asking where he is right now), she will think about him and will feel uncomfortable.
However if you ignore the boyfriend comment and your game is strong enough she will forget about him: lead and she will follow! Trigger her emotions and she will be attracted to you no matter what.
Recently one of the greatest PUAs in the world Style (aka Neil Strauss) published a list of the top ten epiphanies he had while learning the Game.
According to him these epiphanies helped transform him from a guy who was too scared to speak to women, into a guy who had experiences that even in his wildest fantasies, he never imagined were possible:
1. What you look like doesn’t matter. But how you present yourself does.
2. Nobody is judging you. They’re too busy worrying about what you think of them. So instead of seeking her approval, give her yours. Then take it away. Then give it to her again. This is called flirting.
3. Women like nice guys. They just don’t like weak guys. So you can still be nice, but you must also be confident and strong-minded. In order for a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe with you.
4. It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.
5. There’s a thin, but important line between being horny and being sexual. A horny man hits on a woman before she’s attracted to him. A sexual man waits until he’s attracted her.
6. Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting. Learn to recognize the
difference between politeness and interest.
7. To win the heart of a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her.
8. When a girl you went on a date with in the past or who suddenly disappeared on you calls you out of the blue, it generally means one thing – so call back right away before she finds someone else to be with that night.
9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping with her and make her feel good about having let go with you. Even if you don’t want to see her again or she doesn’t want to see you again. Don’t ruin her for other guys.
10. The Canadian hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” So simply by approaching and saying something, no matter how badly you may bumble, you’ve dramatically increased your odds of being with her.
1. When was the last time I went out?
2. While I was out, did I open sets often enough?
3. While in set, did I push as far as possible?
In those 3 easy questions there are tons of ways you may find you sabotage yourself.
Balance is vital in life, but real progress takes real energy. The WORST thing you can do is to NOT go out much.
The best techniques mean nothing, if you’re not actually approaching.
You have to make a commitment. Get in the field. It’s time to go out. It’s time to approach.
And that’s not all.
Beyond showing up, and beyond playing, we must always be PUSHING to the next point.
The key is FORCING. If you’re ever wondering “how can I get past this anxiety?” The most
effective way is to not offer yourself a choice. Don’t even let it be a question, instead just:
DO. ACT. PUSH. Soon enough, you’ll open.
Temptation will pull you towards comfort, but this is the enemy of progress. You must push
past comfort in each of your experiences.
FORCE into attraction. When that is down
FORCE into qualification. Get that in place
FORCE into the next step. The cycle can not
and should not end.
Never let yourself succumb to the dreaded monster of self comfort, for if you
do, it will be the end of the BEST version of you.
It doesn’t have to end that way though, it won’t be decided by chance or destiny. It
is decided through one thing alone, one simple question you must answer for yourself:
Will you perpetually push yourself past the next step through EXPERIENCE?
The choice is yours alone.
P.S. A couple more weeks and the Love Systems Super Conference will be taking place in Las Vegas. There are only few seats left, so hurry up!
P.P.S. Here is a video of Love Systems coach “Future” giving a talk at the conference last year.
What is subtext?
For acting, subtext is the underlying meaning behind spoken words as interpreted by an actor. What does that mean? Basically you’re adding additional meaning to your spoken words by the way you say them. Let’s say you have the following (cheesy) script for a scene to act in:
John and Mary are alone in the bedroom. Mary is upset and John is comforting her.
“John: Mary, everything is going to be ok, I just want you to know that I love you.”
Now you’re going to play John in this scene there is a lot of information you’re going to need in order to apply the proper subtext to your dialogue. Things like:
What is the relationship between John and Mary?
If they are siblings then the line would be spoken much differently than if they were lovers.
– What happened just before?
– What if this scene took place right after they had sex?
– How would you reflect that in the above line of dialogue?
This is all information that can be implied with the proper subtext.
So, what does this have to do with game? Everything!
Because – and you probably have heard this a lot – it doesn’t matter WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it. Women are MASTERS at subtext, they know that there is loads of information hidden in the way something is said. That’s why women can get so bitchy over seemingly trivial things that guys say; they know what were thinking!
So how do you use subtext effectively? Let’s have an example:
Let’s say you’re in a venue gaming and you see a great set. Now in any given set at the venue, realistically, the subtext of the dialogue you exchange with them is going to be “I’m trying to win you over and make you like me.” A lot of guys subconsciously use this subtext when they open and are often blown out. Why? Because the women read into your subtext and knew exactly what you were doing, this is why you will hear “Is that a line?” often, even if she hadn’t heard it before.
A better way to approach is to use the subtext of your opener. This is how most successful PUAs operate. For instance, Cajun’s opener involves him asking girls if he looks like a drug dealer, so the subtext is simply that it’s bothering his that he look like a drug dealer and he needs their opinion. When he says the opener he puts himself in the mind frame that it JUST happened to him so that his subtext is believable.
Cajun holds the view that the best way to approach is to look at the venue as a stage and look at each set as a scene you can enter into. Instead of using the above mind frames when opening try to use the subtext of a completely made up scenario that makes you exude attractiveness. Enter into the set under the subtext of “I just slept with all of these girls” and I will communicate that to them by the way I speak, not by the words I’m saying. All of your dialogue will remain the same as it normally was.
So what happens? They catch on very quickly and you will create attraction almost instantaneously. Women LOVE guys that they can’t quite figure out, so if you go in acting like you just slept with them then you are basically a social enigma, which is like crack to them.
And this is why you can talk to them about robots for 3 mins and then all of a sudden make out! Subtext is the reason. You don’t always have to use the subtext of “I just slept with these girls”. You can use whatever you want, but this one works very well.
Subtext is one of those things that’s pretty hard to grasp through reading. That’s why Cajun and other Love Systems instructors created the DVD set “Beyond Words” so you can visually see it. In the DVD you can see Cajun teach in more depth other non-verbal techniques to attract women using your body language.
P.S. If you have any doubts about Cajun, check out Cajun picking up some hot girls. It’s a classic by now.