1. Go out and approach. You can read all the pickup material in the world and watch endless pickup videos on YouTube, but as long as you don’t go out and practice the stuff you read and see it doesn’t matter. In fact, it might even kill your game as you become dependent on those videos because they make you feel good (temporarily).
2. Don’t take things girls say personally. If you get rejected – and this happens to EVERYONE, even pickup gurus – don’t start thinking she doesn’t like you as a person. She can’t because she doesn’t know you long enough. It’s always about your approach: Did you smile? Were you loud enough? Did you make superfluos gestures?
3. Focus on the process, not on the outcome. If you go out with the goal to make-up or sleep with a girl you are doomed to fail. You simply can’t predict those things and if things don’t go your way it will affect your (emotional) state. And girls always look for your emotional state first. Try to have fun in the process – it will simplify anything else.
4. Lead. Don’t be passive and listen to her stories for hours. Talk about things you want to talk about. Don’t wait for something to happen, make it happen! Say you want to do XYZ and do it. Suggest things, take responsibility. Change venues, inspire her to do something with you.
5. Work her emotions. Women are all about emotions, different kind of emotions. That why they like drama and crying at the movies so much. Never bore her, simply give her what she wants: the full range of emotions. Say you love her, then say you hate her… This is not lying, this is called flirting. Extreme emotions are WAY better than no emotions at all. Even a negative emotion is better than no emotion because you can change it to positive. Tell stories that trigger her emotions. Be unpredictable, surprise her.
6. Always kino escalate. Touch her while approaching (there are studies showing this alone improves the response rate dramatically), hug her, use high fives, punch her in the shoulder (playfully), ask for a small massage (you will be surprised how many girls will do you the favor!) and massage her, do hand reading etc. Kino escalation is a must to avoid landing in the friend zone. Women love physical contact much more than men, however don’t overdo it in the beginning, keep it subtle.
7. Calibrate. Pickup is about adapting to the girl. Girls are different and sometimes will react differently to your stuff – depending on her emotional state etc. Don’t let this affect your game, just adapt. Find out what she’s about, give her some extremes and look how she reacts. Don’t worry, it’s still better than no extremes at all as it triggers her emotions and that exaclty what girls want. This way you will stand out from all the boring guys she has met in the past.
For more information on pickup, check out Real Social Dynamics’ Hot Seat at Home (brand-new!).