Browsing "how to build comfort"

How to Pick Up Women – 7 Things You Need to Do to Get the Girl

1. Go out and approach. You can read all the pickup material in the world and watch endless pickup videos on YouTube, but as long as you don’t go out and practice the stuff you read and see it doesn’t matter. In fact, it might even kill your game as you become dependent on those videos because they make you feel good (temporarily).

2. Don’t take things girls say personally. If you get rejected – and this happens to EVERYONE, even pickup gurus – don’t start thinking she doesn’t like you as a person. She can’t because she doesn’t know you long enough. It’s always about your approach: Did you smile? Were you loud enough? Did you make superfluos gestures?

3. Focus on the process, not on the outcome. If you go out with the goal to make-up or sleep with a girl you are doomed to fail. You simply can’t predict those things and if things don’t go your way it will affect your (emotional) state. And girls always look for your emotional state first. Try to have fun in the process – it will simplify anything else.

4. Lead. Don’t be passive and listen to her stories for hours. Talk about things you want to talk about. Don’t wait for something to happen, make it happen! Say you want to do XYZ and do it. Suggest things, take responsibility. Change venues, inspire her to do something with you.

5. Work her emotions. Women are all about emotions, different kind of emotions. That why they like drama and crying at the movies so much. Never bore her, simply give her what she wants: the full range of emotions. Say you love her, then say you hate her… This is not lying, this is called flirting. Extreme emotions are WAY better than no emotions at all. Even a negative emotion is better than no emotion because you can change it to positive. Tell stories that trigger her emotions. Be unpredictable, surprise her.

6. Always kino escalate. Touch her while approaching (there are studies showing this alone improves the response rate dramatically), hug her, use high fives, punch her in the shoulder (playfully), ask for a small massage (you will be surprised how many girls will do you the favor!) and massage her, do hand reading etc. Kino escalation is a must to avoid landing in the friend zone. Women love physical contact much more than men, however don’t overdo it in the beginning, keep it subtle.

7. Calibrate. Pickup is about adapting to the girl. Girls are different and sometimes will react differently to your stuff – depending on her emotional state etc. Don’t let this affect your game, just adapt. Find out what she’s about, give her some extremes and look how she reacts. Don’t worry, it’s still better than no extremes at all as it triggers her emotions and that exaclty what girls want. This way you will stand out from all the boring guys she has met in the past.

For more information on pickup, check out Real Social Dynamics’ Hot Seat at Home (brand-new!).


 


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6 Questions to Make Her Interested (& Answer Interpretations)

Don’t know what to do in the comfort phase? Try these questions and she will be hanging on your lips:

1. You must plan your own death. How old are you? How does it happen? And what is the funeral like?

2. You can be any animal. What are you? You can marry any animal except your own species. What kind of animal do you marry?

3. You can pick your parents from any point in time; they can be real or fictional. Who are they?

4. We have found a stargate and you can travel to any location and time. To what 3 places would you go? Okay. Now, what if once you cross through, you learn you cannot return? In which of the three places would you stay?

5. If you had to have a tattoo, what and where would it be?

6. You can invite five people to dinner, real or fictional, from any place or time. Who do you invite to dinner and why?

Interpretations of her answers:

1. Talking about how you would like to die says a lot about how you would like to live. This is a great point of reference for commonality. Finding someone who wants to live like you want to live is really special. Most of us aren’t living as we’d like to, sharing that desire brings you that much closer to achieving it.

2. Confident people pick animals who possess qualities they like about themselves. Insecure people pick animals they admire. When selecting an animal for their spouse, they usually select an animal that is least like their last or current BF. For instance, if she says she would be a dolphin it means she admires freedom, intelligence, cuteness, beauty. If she chooses a dog for her spouse’s animal, it means that she abhors disloyalty and her ex probably cheated on her.

3. Only those most comfortable with themselves and their families will answer with their own parents. The person’s choices for her parents often reflect the qualities and/or conditions that were absent in her upbringing. Rather than draw attention to this, point out that fact that these are qualities which they want to instill in their own children. For instance if her dad was Einstein, she would like her children to be smart and great
thinkers.

4. The places in time and space people choose tell you what kinds of feelings they want to feel when they are free of limits and stressors in their lives. If they choose Mars, they like to feel discovery and newness. If they choose prehistoric Earth, they like uncertainty and danger. The place they decide to stay often represents the extreme feelings they are most comfortable with. For instance if their third option was Antarctica, they are most comfortable feeling alone, versus discovery or danger.

5. Tattoos represent permanence. In this day and age, many young people have tattoos, so they will probably show you theirs. This is good, but not the point of the exercise. Let them show it to you. But ask them if they get another one. The symbol or picture holds great meaning to them. The location they would get it likely represents a point of vulnerability to them, or perhaps their sense of style. It’s up to you to decide which it is.

6. The five people question is the hardest to sort out. You will be tempted to analyze the significance of each one. Don’t do this, as it is not the point. Instead, the five people represent what the person finds attractive or interesting within a group. For instance, if she picks a diverse group of men and women, she prefers a variety of friends and interests. If she picks all important people, such as actors and celebrities, she is more concerned with high social value. If she picks all people that will get along, she likes everyone to be comfortable and happy. If, like me, she picks people deliberately to spark
controversy and debate…well, you get the picture.

P.S. Remember, it’s more important HOW you say what you say than WHAT you say. To master this area I recommend to check out RSD’s Hot Seat at Home.


 


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Natural Woman Routine by Ross Jeffries

Here is a simple routine to get her/ them interested. Simply say you recently had a discussion with a friend and need a female opinion on something (yes, you can always use an opinion opener). Then ask:

“Do you think most men know what women really want?” She/ they probably will laugh or seem bored. Don’t worry, your follow-up is what should get her/ them intrigued:

“I think most men might THINK they know, but I think almost every man makes one, huge, critical mistake when it comes to women…” Wait until you notice they really want to hear the mistake every man is making.

“The mistake is that they don’t recognize that in each woman there are actually TWO women… the natural woman and the culturally programmed woman. The culturally programmed woman is the one with all the rules and all the roles… all the restrictions, constrictions… all the shouldn’ts, shoulds, don’ts, can’ts, mustn’ts…etc.

But the natural woman….that’s the woman right there at the core… where you keep your most exciting memories… where you ponder fantasies… daydreams… amazing possibilities… the things you would do if no one were watching and no one… even your best friends… would ever, ever know about…

Most men just do things that trigger the culturally programmed woman… But when a man… a rare man…can touch a woman in that special place in all those special ways you LONG to be touched… in ways you maybe even can’t admit to yourself… then WOW… an almost complete transformation takes place…and you start blossoming way beyond what you ever even thought possible.

So I think the smart man is the man who has the realization that that place is there… waiting and longing…even inspite the fact that women often have to lock all of that away… and yet they are still there…”

Need more routines? Check out RSD’s Hot Seat at Home!


 


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3 Ways to Pick Up a Girl – Once You’ve Already Approached Her

Do you want a phone number and a date? Or do you want to take her home? Or is she your next girlfriend? The distinction is important, because each path leads in a different direction.

1. How to pick up a girl if you want casual hookups. Focus on Physical Escalation (touching) and Logistics (getting her alone with you somewhere where you can take things to the next level). Remember to touch early and touch often. Find out early in the night who she is with and where she is going later. A couple quick tips:

– Make the numbers match. If you’re alone and the woman you meet is with her friend, get an instant wingman. You can use opinion openers with guys you don’t know in order to draw them into the conversation.
– Whispering is a great way to create sexual tension – it lets you get right close and is a huge turn-on to many women (always have chewing gum with you ;)
– In Day Game, physical escalation is less important and logistics are more important. Don’t try to seduce her on the street. Make a date for later that night.
– Use roleplays

2. If you want phone numbers and dates then it’s mostly about the Emotional Connection. Physical Escalation/ touching is less important on the first meeting (but still do it) and Logistics aren’t usually very important at all.

Emotional connection comes through conversation. So you need great conversation and flirting skills. Here are a couple of flirting/conversation skills:

– Never ask two questions in a row. Alternate statements and questions.
– Don’t play tourist in her life. Add value.
– Flirting is playful, not serious. It’s also supposed to be fun. Make her have fun.
– Cut off any conversation topics that won’t help you (e.g., her ex-boyfriend, her sick cat, her 6am wakeup call tomorrow, etc.).
– Be at the same energy level as her or slightly higher.

The second part of this is that once you get her phone number, you still need to turn it into a date. Here are a couple hints to get you going:

– Texting is usually better start than phoning for the first contact.
– Always sign your texts. If she has to respond with “who is this?” it kills the emotional momentum.
– If you call, get off the phone first, after about 10-12 minutes. Never leave voicemails.
– Never text her back quicker than she texted you back.
– Be unpredictable. Alternate long and short texts, funny and serious, questions and statements.
– Use statements more than questions. You don’t lose anything if she doesn’t respond to “I’m going to the House of Blues tonight!” You do if she doesn’t respond to “Would you like to come to the House of Blues with me?”
– Use Callback Humor whenever possible. If you did any role-plays when you met, start the call by continuing the role play. If you gave her a goofy nickname, start by calling her that.

3. If you are looking for a girlfriend or long-term relationship

Here’s where you need the full package. You need the conversation skills, you need the phone and text game skills (because there are going to be a few dates before she becomes your girlfriend and you’ve got to keep things going in between those dates).

You’ll also need – unlike in the last two cases – an attractive lifestyle. A woman can hook up with you without caring about what you do with your time, but for a woman to become your girlfriend, she has to want to join your life. That’s friends, hobbies, job, social life, interests, etc.

Here are a few handy lifestyle hints:

Prioritize your schedule and schedule your priorities. If you don’t make time for what’s important to you, it won’t happen. It’s much better to be passionate about something that she might not be interested in than to adopt “high status” hobbies you don’t connect with. Women love hearing men talk about something with passion and love telling their friends about it.

P.S. There are tons of routines for each of the three ways in Magic Bullets.

P.P.S. The holiday season is coming. And it’s not just about stress and travel – it’s also a great opportunity to attract women – especially holiday shopping!

The usual Day Game system that most men use will also work just fine at the mall during the holidays. But if you’re shyer, there’s another way. Approach a woman you’re attracted to with something like: “My sister says she needs a new purse for Christmas. What’s in style these days?”

The transition from this is easy; ask her to help you pick one out. Be near a purse store when you start the conversation and save your receipt. Or ask her what she’s doing and then “realize” you’re both doing your holiday shopping at a lot of the same stores, so why not do it together?


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How to Get a Girl – The Infamous Girlfriend Test Routine

It’s always an awkward situation when a girl asks you if you have a girlfriend. The thought process for most guys is: Uhm, it feels weird to admit I don’t have a girlfriend, but if I say I do she won’t be interested anymore…I better say “No”.

It’s not a mistake, but it’s not a good way to deal with this question. A good rule to follow is: Don’t give women direct answers to their questions! Try to keep some mystery about yourself. For example if she asks “What do you do?” Don’t answer with “I’m a lawyer, software engineer, banker/etc. Say “ I work at night” or “I’m an ass-model”. Later on you can always tell her your real occupation.

Here is a better way to deal with the “Do you have a girlfriend?” question and. It’s the infamous “Girlfriend Test Routine” and it’s best to use after you have some connection…

She: “So, do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “To be my girlfriend is an exclusive thing. There’s a test. Only 3 questions…”
Women love tests. There is no way she won’t want to take the test.

Before you ask her the 3 questions, take a pen and write the correct answers on her palm or a piece of paper that you put in her hand and say she’s isn’t allowed to look. This way she will know there are correct answers which she may or may not get right and you not just let her pass. Your value will grow in her eyes because you are putting the interaction at risk.
You also demonstrate you don’t just accept any girl as a girlfriend.

Now close her hand and ask the following questions:

1. Which do you enjoy more? A shower or a warm bath?
2. What is the sexiest food? Whipped crème or strawberries?
3. What feels better? Kisses on your neck or nibbling on your ear?

The correct answers are bath, strawberries and kisses on the neck. In most cases she will answer the first two correctly. The last question is perfect for intense kino (touching) or a kiss. If she gets it right, say: “I’m glad you like this (nibble or kiss).”

If she gets it wrong, whisper in her ear “I can’t be with you if you really believe this (nibble ear) feels better than this (kiss neck).”

If she gets all the questions wrong make fun of her – playfully!

P.S. This guy has some great tips on how to get a girl in his book.

The Magic Questions Routine

The Magic Questions Routine is a great piece you can use to create comfort. It also gives you a bit of insight into the girl you are talking to. To pull it off, just say your friend showed you a really cool personality test. Here are the “Magic Questions”:

1. Visualize yourself in a white room. You’re in a bed and everything is white. How do you feel?

2. What is your favorite animal? What qualities do you see it as having?

3. What is your favorite color? How does it make you feel when you think about it?

4. Imagine yourself on a beach. Nobody is around and the ocean is right in front of you. What do you do?
And here’s what it means:

1. This is how they view death and dying.

2. This is how their friends view them.

3. This is how they view themselves.

4. This is how they view sex.
For more routines, I recommend Revelation by Mystery or Magic Bullets by Savoy.

 

 

Step-By-Step: How to Isolate and Build Comfort

As men we might go out on the date-hunt alone. But women, especially women of quality, are rarely found out at clubs and bars socializing alone. They travel in wing-woman packs, or mixed groups of men and women protecting each other from slime-balls, drunken idiots, and boring AFCs (average frustrated chumps).

But you are different because you recognize this fact and you’re  going to not only overcome it but use it to your advantage.

If you opened, demonstrated value (showed you’re interesting and attractive) and disqualified yourself from being the “next guy” to heighten attraction in your target,  you should be receiving “Indicators of Interest” (IOIs) from the woman in set that is your target. This concept is as easy as it sounds. An IOI is something a woman does (maybe even subconsciously) to show you that she’s interested in you as more than just a friend.

Here’s a small list of IOIs:

1. She makes prolonged eye contact with you.

2. She touches you in a playful. A tap on the arm, friendly punch to the shoulder or joking hip check.

3. She fixes her hair or other aspects of her appearance in your presence.

4. She tries to insert herself into the conversation you’re having with other people in the set or if the conversation with you dies she re-starts it.

5. She’s willing to do simple things you ask her to do: “Here hold this cup.” or “Switch places with me, you stand here.”

6. She laughs at your jokes even when no one else does.

7. She doesn’t want you to leave.

The key with IOIs is to notice them and to act accordingly. What does that mean exactly you ask? Well, if a woman is showing you she’s attracted to you then you can start escalating things to the next level chief. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The rule of thumb is to notice 3-4 IOIs then to begin to work on escalation, namely isolating the target to build comfort. So, it may take you some time to get out of your head about saying and performing your Openers, DHVs, and DQs for you to also be able to keep track of IOIs but eventually this is the point to sarging often. That’s why PUAs like to run the same material over and over again – because it allows them to be able to focus on other things like counting IOIs. Try it for yourself.

How to Isolate

Let’s say you notice those IOIs your next step is to try to get some alone time with her.

Here’s where the group dynamic comes into play. It’s tough to get awoman away from her friends. It’s tough because her friends are her safety net and it’s there job to keep her safe. But provided you did everything right you should have not only been charming your special lady but also the group so you’ve got that going for you.

But you still need to follow a few rules to keep her super team of friends from worrying, so here’s how it goes:

You notice 3-4 IOIs from the target and you know you’ve achieved attraction to you. Now address the group say:

“Even though she’s trouble (feisty, a mess, etc., insert an adjective here that calls back a DQ), there’s something about your friend I find interesting. You guys mind if I talk to her alone for just a few minutes right over there?” (point to a spot near the group but far enough that you’re out of earshot).

Now, that sentence you just read doesn’t get said to a group of women or any group often. It’s totally alpha and confident to ask the group for this and they’ll respect it. Unless there’s a really drunk AMOG or a super tough wing-woman that loathes you the group usually always just nods and says “Sure, go ahead!”

You can’t prepare yourself for all contingencies so let’s just say the situation goes smooth and no one objects which is 9 times out of ten. The target will have heard what you said so at this point look her in the eye and say “Let’s talk for a minute over there before I go.” Then put your arm out suggestively so that she takes it.

Walk with the target over to your isolation spot – you’re now in isolation.

Why and How to Build Comfort

You build comfort because meeting and dating men is a scary prospect for a  woman. Think about all the psycho dudes she’s met in her life and the guys that have just tried to get in her pants. It’s no wonder she has her defenses up. You need to earn her trust and show her that you aren’t crazy and that you’re interested in more than just her body. This is the key to her really wanting to give you her number and her answering when you call it a few days later.

That’s the why and here’s the how. The Cube is a great routine to use in comfort building because it’s a good way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Feel free to run The Cube as your Isolation Routine.

In addition to running routines a good option in the comfort building phase is to listen. You already have this girl interested in you so now you need to get to know her. Ask her broad open ended questions: “What are your passions? What are you all about? You seem different from these other women in this place, what makes you special?” I think you get the idea. If she starts talking and doesn’t stop that’s a great sign. Your job now is to listen intently and look into her eyes. For more routines I recommend the Routines Manual or Routines Manual 2.

If you need a complete guide on pickup, I recommend Revelation or – as it’s a bit cheaper – Magic Bullets. Both are outstanding books and at least one of them is a must-have for everyone trying to get better with women.

For detailed reviews go to: www.bestpickupbooks.com