The Pick-Up Diary

According to www.psychologytoday.com

“Personal charisma is a constellation of complex and sophisticated social and emotional skills. They allow charismatic individuals to affect and influence others at a deep emotional level, to communicate effectively with them, and to make strong interpersonal connections.

Here are the elements of personal charisma:

1) Emotional expressiveness. Charismatic individuals express their feelings spontaneously and genuinely. This allows them to affect the moods and emotions of others. We all know charismatic people who seem to “light up the room” when they enter. They typically express positive affect, but they can also stir us up when they are angry or irritated.

2) Emotional sensitivity. This is the ability to read others’ emotions, and allows the charismatic person to make an emotional connection by responding to their feelings. Just yesterday someone commented (for about the hundredth time) that Bill Clinton has a special ability to emotionally connect with people – to “make the person feel like he or she is the only person in the room.”

3) Emotional control. Truly charismatic individuals have the ability to control and regulate their emotional displays. They don’t “fly off the handle” (unless they purposely want to in order to make a point). They are good emotional actors, who can turn on the charm when they need to.

4) Social expressiveness. This is verbal communication skill and the ability to engage others in social interaction. Charismatic people are skilled and entertaining conversationalists. They certainly affect us with their emotional expressiveness, but there is also power in their words. Nearly all charismatic leaders are effective public speakers.

5) Social sensitivity. This is skill in reading and interpreting social situations, being able to listen to others, and be “in tune” with them. It helps charismatic persons to be tactful and sensitive to their surroundings.

6) Social control. Is a sophisticated social role-playing skill that is particularly important for charismatic leaders. It can be seen in the way that charismatic leaders (or everyday “charismatics”) carry themselves with poise and grace. It allows them to fit in with all sorts of people and make those emotional and social connections that distinguish charismatic individuals from those of us who possess less personal charisma.