Differences between Night and Day Game
In some ways, Day Game follows the same structure as any other type of game. But of course there are also differences. Here are the main ones and how to get around them:
1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls in the daytime than they do at night.
People always think, “Isn’t it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren’t they busy? Aren’t they going to tell you to go away?” The truth is it’s no less weird than approaching people you don’t know to talk to them in a bar. Instead of reacting really badly, girls react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night, they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go approach them.
2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than night game.
There are a lot of venue considerations in Day Game (see below), but in many situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it comes across as less congruent. Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello. How are you?” Direct Openers are also massively important for moving sets. Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just need to be committed enough to your Direct opener. When you open a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving, wait for them to stop. If they don’t stop, it will be creepy to follow them.
3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of Social Pressure they involve.
You have the streets, cafÃ©s, bookstores, art galleries, college campuses etc. Every venue or situation is slightly different, so you will need to develop good social calibration so you don’t creep girls out. The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold. First, don’t go too Direct, either open indirectly or tone down your Direct opener (e.g. “That’s a lovely dress, how you doing?”).
Second, have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with time and practice. But remember, she can’t see how you feel inside, only how you act on the outside.
Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the interaction, she will instantly relax – the interaction is then suddenly a fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some creepy guy on the subway.
4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.
You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs? There is one reason why: Alcohol. It normally starts happening after everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are shit scared of the super hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say hello. Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You’ll be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say, “Oh my God, that’s so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on the street to say that!”
5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game than night game.
The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct, then this is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a matter of minutes. As soon as she’s laughing and enjoying the interaction, stop thinking about attraction and start thinking about qualifying and building comfort. You’ll need to escalate things as part of this. The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a few minutes to chat. You can add in a, “I don’t want go dress shopping or anything like that with you though – that would be kind of gay – so I’ll probably head off in a few minutes!” This works exactly like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the situation.
6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and can take them by surprise.
This is a double edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being weirded out. On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns into a massive positive for you. Not to mention that fact that very rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to remember you positively (therefore LESS likely to flake than a night game set). The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience (especially if you use a Direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation, e.g. “I know this is really forward of me… but I was going to regret it all day if I didn’t stop you and say hello,” or, “This is very bold of me, but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don’t believe in letting opportunities pass you by.”
7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.
The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim, but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your time overcoming is logistics. The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for Same Day Lays!! In the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue changes than end up back at your place. More commonly, there will be an “interrupt”, where she has to go home to eat or meet friends etc. In these cases you can still try to get her to come out to a party with you that night. You need to get out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone numbers: You are trying to seduce these women not just get their digits. Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world of logistical management!
8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than in night game.
Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day. Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the daytime therefore, you typically have a very small window of opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present yourself as well as humanly possible. Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and wear good shoes (don’t wear your tatty trainers). All of these things will encourage her to response positively to her when you stop her in the middle of the street.
9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even though they really are not.
It is not true that you can’t run Direct Game on groups of women, and it is not true that you can’t open groups of women in the daytime. Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her and qualifying her a little.
The most important thing is to take action. A lot of guys who excel in night game, choke in the daytime. You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the day after. Procrastination is the world’s greatest sin. You will find that once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. It’s just being willing to burst through that barrier.
To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by Love Systems day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are FREE.