The Pick-Up Diary

Every approach begins with an opener, the springboard to start a conversation. This early moment sets the tone for the interaction and breaks the ice.

Any bullet-proof opener will help you achieve three goals:

1. It’s an un-threatening approach to open the person or group up for having a conversation

2. It stirs up curiosity and captures the person or group’s imagination

3. It’s a springboard for additional follow-up conversational threads

What Makes an Opener “bullet-proof”?

There a few ingredients that allow you to approach smoothly without seeming awkward and give you a built-in “safety net” to eject if necessary. Here are the ingredients:

1. ROOT – The first question that runs through anyone’s mind who is approached by a stranger is this:

“Why is this guy talking to me? What does he want?”

The root in an opener communicates from the beginning WHY you are talking to the person. It explains the reason of your approach.

2. TIME CONSTRAINT – The second question that crosses the mind of anyone who is approached:

“How long do I have to talk to this guy? When will he leave again?”

(She obviously doesn’t know yet how interesting you really are :)) By embedding a time constraint in your opener, you will answer this question from the beginning. A time constraint looks like this:

“I have only a minute. I’m already late for a meeting.” It also has a second advantage. If you

need to eject, you can, say at any time: “I have to run. Pleasure meeting you.”

3. OPEN-ENDED Question. If you ask a Yes/No question it will be a VERY short conversation. Posing questions that elicit a longer response will give you more opportunities to start another conversational thread and more time to think.

Here’s an example of a bullet-proof opinion opener:

You: Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something. I’m trying to help my friend and I’d like to get a female opinion. (This is the root explaining why you are asking the question)

Group of Girls: What?

You: Okay, I’ve only got a minute. Do you follow the advice given to you by your horoscopes? I have a reason for asking. Let me just get your opinions then I’ll tell you why I’m asking.

(There’s the time constraint and the open ended question)

Group of Girls: …

(Sometimes this will already start a conversation. But there is more. The second part of this opener transitions into a little story)

You: The reason I’m asking is because my friend met a girl at a party last weekend, who said that her horoscope told her that she would meet her future husband. They actually hooked up. Now, the strange thing is, ever since then, my friend can’t stop thinking of her. He always wants to hang out with this girl, 24/7. He says he’s in love with her. Do you think it’s the horoscope’s prediction or just psychology?

Group of Girls: …

(This will lead to conversations about astrology, destiny and a lot of other topics.)

Keep in mind: A good opener is NOT just about the words you say but about HOW you communicate in these 4 levels:

Level 1: The words that you say.

Level 2: The vocal intonation you use.

Level 3: The type of eye contact, facial expression, gestures, and body language you display.

Level 4: The attitude you are feeling, and the energy you are projecting.

What does that mean?

It means just because you know the WORDS, does not mean you can USE the opener. It comes down to PRACTICE and REPETITION.

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Many people find themselves having trouble communicating over the loud, repetitive sounds of the night club. If you’re not used to the noise it can be hard to think, let alone communicate!

This exercise is an easy way for any guy and his wing to overcome the deafening noise of the nightclub.

Level 1: Get Comfortable in the Noise

First you’ll need a stereo that can really blast some music (the stereo in your car will work for

the Level 1 exercise.) Put on something loud, anything from bumping club music to grinding

death metal will do. Blast the music. Stand about 10 ft away from a friend and simply talk about anything for 5 to 10 minutes.

Get comfortable with thinking and speaking over loud music. It doesn’t matter at this point if the other person understands what you are saying. What matters is that you can keep on track and tell a story all the way through, over the music.

Repeat this exercise 4 times over the course of a week and you will find yourself to be much more comfortable around loud music.

Level 2: Storytelling and Listening

Write up, find, or memorize a story that your partner has never heard before. Stand across from each other and crank the music up. One of you will be the storyteller and the other will be the listener. The storyteller will try to communicate his story over the blasting music. The listener will try to figure out what the story is all about.

Once the storyteller is finished telling his tale, turn the music down. Now, the listener will

explain what he believes the story was all about. If his version of the story is way off, then the storyteller needs to change how he expresses his story.

The storyteller and listener should discuss ways that you could use your body language and

tonality to more accurately tell the story. Use your hands, make gestures, or change your facial expressions to match feelings or events in the story. Emphasize specific words that are important to the meaning of the story. Find parts of the story where you can throw in some kino. Tell the story again. Then change roles.

There are two lessons for this exercise. The first lesson is how to communicate an entire story to a group of people in a loud night club so that the listeners get the point.

The second lesson is how to listen to and interpret a story in a loud environment. This is especially important when a girl is telling you a story. The more you can hear, the better your response could be.

One of the worst things you can do in a noisy club is to “peck” when you can’t hear what someone is saying. When you can’t hear someone, most guys will lean in closer to the speaker.

Some men even think this is a positive form of kino because they can use the noise as an excuse to get close to the lady. However, by repeatedly leaning in, you resemble a ravenous chicken, pecking at feed in the chicken coop. It looks bad and it conveys lower value.

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There are a lot of dating myths out in the world that are false. Here’s Savoy’s Top 3 List:

1. Women want a nice guy.

You have heard and seen this plenty of times; Women saying they all want to date a nice guy, but then they all end up dating the jerk or bad boy. This paradox is as old as the Earth.

Women do want someone who can be nice to them, but also someone who can push their buttons and has strong boundaries. Nice guy lack the latter and that is why especially beautiful women don’t end up dating the nice guy. If you are one of the nice guys, try to tease girls more and fooling around with them. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

2. Dating should be fair.

This is a big one. It goes like this: “I shouldn’t be doing all the pursuing and all the work, dating should be fair”. If you recognize yourself, stop right now.

In the dating world, the guy has to be proactive about it. Just accept this. You can’t expect for women to approach you and seduce you. When one does, it’s most likely a pro (not a professional!).

You can also look at it differently. You have the option to pick the women you want to date. You are the one exercising the freedom of picking. Women don’t. They have to go through a lot of chumps and unfortunately sometimes they still can’t find the right guy.

3. Women hate to be approached.

There is this myth out there that says women hate to be approached. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do you think it takes hours for women to get ready to go out at night? If friends want to have a conversation over a glass of wine, they can do that at home too.

Another popular excuse women use is so they can “dance.” Another excuse to masquerade why women really go out. The real reason women go out is to find a guy, just like you go out to find a girl. Don’t let these excuses women give fool you. The next time you see women out, keep in mind that they want to be approached and swept away. You can be that guy.

One of the reasons this myth is so established is because a lot of guys have no clue how to approach women and they do it in a terrible fashion. For example, using a pickup line does not work and it is the fastest way to get rejected. Instead, with the right fashion, body language, and the right thing to say you can start enjoying conversations with beautiful women.

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http://youtu.be/qBkXWTWAyJc

Think this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about? Check out this video:

http://youtu.be/tlWrFgIR6CU

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Imagine right now that you see an attractive woman standing at the bar in a night club.

She is smoking hot. Just your type with long legs, beautiful bouncy breasts, curves, shiny flowing hair, gorgeous piercing eyes.

You approach and open her with the “80’s Dogs Names Opener.” She’s listening and smiling, all is going perfect!

She responds to your opener and she has a silky voice that oozes sex appeal, she smells of creamy vanilla. Her laugh makes your heart pound like a heavy metal kick drum. She’s witty and playful.

You want her…for sure!

You run the “5 Questions Game” as your DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). It goes over wonderfully! She lightly touches your arm…an IOI (Indicator Of Interest)! You toss a DQ (DisQualifier), smiling while saying “Hey, you can look, but don’t touch the merchandise.”

She flips her hair back another IOI!

You move her to isolation on the smoking patio. You run “The Cube” to build comfort.

Next you use “Style’s Elicit Values Routine” and qualify her. You’ve played your game perfectly up to this point. And then…

…YOU GET STUCK.

You run out of material. Your perfect sarge starts to fall apart.

She starts to become unsure of why she’s here with you. She tries to elicit value from you to feel more comfortable about her choice. She needs answers. She needs to know more about you before she’ll let you kiss her luscious soft cherry lips.

“Who is this guy really?” she wonders.

You might remember Style’s words from “The Game:”

“What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self: It’s a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.”

So here is Style’s wisdom: “We all have an idea of who we want to be. The sad truth is that most people never get there. They don’t get to live life to the fullest being their bestselves because they don’t focus on it. The first step is realizing your goals and making them real. Write your goals down. That’s the first step.”

Writing your goals down is a way of making them more real. It’s the first small step to making a commitment to yourself that you will get better. So, just write down your goals down and you will be on your way to become your best self and finally will not get stuck as you will be your own DHV just by existing!

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