The Pick-Up Diary

For his upcoming book (Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead) Neil Strauss aka Style, author of “The Game”, looked over two decades spent touring with rockers and rappers and realized there were a few common lessons and themes that we can all apply to our lives.

One of the things he noticed was that musicians who believed that they were destined to be famous, that being a celebrity was “God’s plan” for them, were more likely to get famous and stay there.

On the other hand, musicians who got famous, and then felt like they got lucky or didn’t deserve to be there any more than other talented (but lesser known) musicians tended to fall out of the limelight pretty quickly.

Strauss even found similar patterns in other fields – from sports to survival. For example liver transplant patients were three times more likely to live if they sought God’s help and intervention. And disaster victims in survival situations who prayed were more likely to live than those who didn’t.

The key point here however isn’t religion. It’s BELIEF and the power of POSITIVE THINKING. According to Strauss success comes from acting out of confidence, conviction, commitment, and deservedness, no matter what critics, haters, and competitors are saying and thinking–with no fear of failure (and with no problem bouncing back undiscouraged if one doesn’t succeed at first).

Conversely, walking down the path to your goals with fear, doubt, and uncertainty as your traveling companions is a sure way to slow down – if not completely bring to a halt – your journey. Even when successful, having a feeling of undeservedness when you reach your goal will ultimately lead to self-sabotage.

Strauss’ advice: whether you’re looking at the woman (or women or lack thereof) in your life or your career goals for the new year, ask yourself: WHAT DO I DESERVE?

Neil Strauss’ article in the Wall Street Journal.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

The basic principle behind seduction is to give the woman what she wants. Therefore, it is important to know the different types of women and their needs. There is not just “that one” way, you need to adjust your strategy each time anew to the type of woman you’re talking to.

1) The stressed out one.

She doesn’t like her job, her relationship is a disaster and she feels like nobody understands her. If you discover she is that type of woman, simply talk about her dreams, let her speak, do something forbidden with her and show her that her happiness depends first and foremost on herself.

2) The pampered gal.

She has everything, she has tried everything and she is bored to tears. If you realize she lives in a superficial world, add some deepness to it. Use some psycho tests and show her how to become an independent person.

3) The wallflower.

She seems shy, prude and unemotional. She represses her feelings and often seems arrogant. You have to be very careful and gentle with such a person. You need time to provoke emotions in her, but once she trusts you, she will warm up real fast.

4) The pretty one.

She gets attention everywhere, guys look daggers at her and she gets compliments 20 times a day. But still, inside, she feels lonely because men don’t dare to approach her. She is often passive, because she rarely needs to be proactive. You need to show her that she has a beautiful personality, that she is smart and – that’s important – that you’re not interested in her beauty.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

A lof of guys make the mistake of asking the girl whether she is single. Most of the girls that go out to clubs and bars are, but they say they have a boyfriend. This normally means one thing – they are not attracted to you (yet).

Girls use this line to weed out guys they don’t like but also to test guys (this is called a shit test). If you react with “Oh! That’s a pity” and leave you’ve have lost.

Instead you should simply ignore this comment and continue with your routines. Just say cool as if she told you her name and start talking about something else.

Don’t mention her “boyfriend” at all! Suppose, she has a boyfriend and you start talking about him in any way (for example asking where he is right now), she will think about him and will feel uncomfortable.

However if you ignore the boyfriend comment and your game is strong enough she will forget about him: lead and she will follow! Trigger her emotions and she will be attracted to you no matter what.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

One of the biggest sticking points is what to say after the Opener and running out of material. The solution to this common problem is Cold Reading.

The first tool you need is a cold read routine for a group, because most sets will likely be groups of girlfriends. Start with a group cold read after your opener.

Here are some examples:

YOU: (Smiling) “You guys are awesome you’re just like the girls from Sex and the City.”

GIRLS: “Oh I love that show…”

(now use what you know about their personalities to fit them into one of the archetypes of the main characters from Sex and the City, give each girl a character)

(point to the responsible or tough one)

YOU: “You’re definitely Samantha because you’re tough and you have you’re stuff together.

(point to the one that seems the most sweet or quiet)

YOU: “You’re Carrie I can just tell because…!”

(point to the target and shake your head and say)

YOU: “And you’re Miranda! Oh, you’re definitely Miranda!”

The women will laugh and say why they are who they are or why they aren’t let them talk about it for a bit and then start your next routine.

Now it’s time to run another Cold Read to win the group over. And I want you to launch into the Best Friends Test (by Neil Strauss aka Style).

YOU: “OK, I have to ask: how long have you guys known each other for? (If you think they’re sisters ask: “Are you guys sisters or best friends?”)

GIRLS: “We’ve known each other forever (or whatever they say)”

YOU: “See, I knew that”

GIRLS: “How could you know that?”

YOU: “I’ll show you. In fact, I’ll give you the best friends test.”

GIRLS: (get all excited)

YOU: “OK… (pretend you’re just about to ask a serious question)

“Do you both use the same shampoo?”

GIRLS: (look at each other and then open their mouths to answer)

YOU: “OK, the answer doesn’t matter, you already passed.”

GIRLS: “Huh?!”

YOU: “See, if you weren’t so close to each other, you’d have kept eye contact with me as you answered. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first, kind of like you’re doing right now.”

GIRLS: (laugh)

YOU: “See, you don’t even need to say anything to each other. It’s like you just communicate telepathically.”

At this point they should be laughing and loving your company … time to isolate your target and launch into palm reading or astrology cold reads.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

The best way to make an impression is to teach the girl something about herself. The following techniques work extremely well:

1) “The Cube”. Women love all kinds of tests. This personality test invented by the master pick up artist and author Neil Strauss aka Style works like a charm. Read on it on the internet or Strauss’ book called “The Game“.

2) “The 3 Questions Game to Define Your Goal in Life”. This routine invented by Style is about asking the girl what she likes doing most and what kind of feeling she has doing it. The ultimate goal in life is to experience that feeling again and again.

3) Palm reading. This is an instant classic and gets every girl interested in a second. Don’t forget to tell her that has a difficult relationship to her father and an excellent one to her mother.

4) “The Ring Routine”. This routine is about telling her that wearing ring on particular fingers says something about her personality.

5) Cold Reading. This technique is extremely powerful, but you need some experience with people to be successful with it. Cold reading is about guessing what kind of person the girl is and telling her what she wants to hear.

6) Storytelling. In order to attract a girl you need to be able to tell an interesting story. Keep in mind: Telling a story is not about getting to the end, but to demonstrate your charming personality.

7) NLP-Techniques. Neuro-linguistic programming is about playing with thoughts, images and feelings and can be very powerful. Again, you need a lot of experience in this area to be really successful.

8 ) Dream interpretation. Quite popular. The problem here: a lot of people don’t remember their dreams and if they do there are way too much possibilities they can come up with that you can assign to a special interpretation pattern.

9) Handwriting analysis. A bit long winded, but nonetheless effective.

10) Number guessing game. Tell her to pick a number between 1 and 4 (guess that it’s the 3). Then tell her to pick a number between 1 and 10 (take the 7, because most people choose this number). Finally let her pick a number between 1 and 10. This time tell her to multiply the number by 9. Then, she has to add the digits of the outcome and subtract 5. The outcome is always 4.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

It’s Sunday afternoon. You met a great woman on Friday or Saturday night. You opened, you created attraction, you qualified, and then you started to build comfort. The situation wasn’t right for you to take it further, so you casually invited her to join you for some exciting event on Monday. She gave you her number. You phone. It rings a few times and goes to her voicemail. You leave a message. She doesn’t call you back. It’s now Tuesday. What do you do?

1. Maybe call her again next week, but that’s it. You need to have the frame that you have lots of women interested in you and are busy, or else she won’t stay attracted to you anyway.

2. Call or text every day or two with a variety of different approaches, to see if any of them make an impact. Delete the number after a few weeks if you don’t get anywhere.

3. Call every day until she answers. Once in a while call three times in a row to see if that works. After a week or so, drop back to once a week or so. Don’t give up until YOU are no longer interested.

What’s the right answer? Don’t look ahead…

Actually, any of them could be the right answer. In the right context, all of these are okay. Too many beginners are too inflexible with the frame that “I have value… she has to come to me” and default to (1). Yes, this is a good frame, and it’s important. However, sometimes you need to do a little bit of pursuing as well.

Why is this? If you obviously have value, why should you have to pursue a woman? Why does she want you to? In short, it’s because this shows that you are genuinely interested in her. In fact, the more value you have, or appear to have, the more a woman will want to see you put in a bit of genuine effort to pursue her. She recognizes that you can have easy conquests, and she doesn’t want to be easy.

Why else? Some women are simply flaky and scatterbrained (so are some men). She may adore you, but you called when she was having dinner, and then she met up with a friend, and now it’s the next day, and she could call you, but now she’s distracted and, anyway, if you’re really interested in her you’ll call again, right?

Why else? She wants to play the traditional female role of being chased. It’s exciting for her, and built into millennia of social programming. It’s not a great frame for men to be in, which is why we short-circuit it when we first meet a woman by disqualifying ourselves during the attraction phase. That’s easy in public, where you can plausibly start a random conversation with an attractive woman without being interested in her (until she wins you over, of course…). It’s not easy on the phone. By calling, you are confirming your interest. That’s why it’s so important to qualify her when you first meet, so she feels comfortable with your interest in her, but it does mean that you might feel a little bit of “back to square one” on the telephone. So, yes, she may make you work for it by not returning your phone call. Don’t take it personally.

Why else? Some women are taught “not to call guys.” Yes, it’s pretty silly, but there is just as much silly dating advice for women as there is for men. There’s nothing you can do about this. Call them. You can fix their silly ideas later.

Now, we covered ages ago some of the crucial tactics for making sure that she does answer the phone when you call (programming your number into her phone, telling her when you’re going to call, planning a specific event, making her verbalize some anti-flake routines, texting/calling that night, etc.) as well as how to leave a message (leave hooks, cut yourself off, etc.) so we’ll assume that you’ve done all of this, and are still not getting her on the phone. You can give up, of course, and focus your energies on new women. This is totally fine. But you can also set aside a few minutes a day with your “cold” phone numbers and do some of this:

· Vary the time of day when you call. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. If you’re getting nowhere, try calling at 1am. You’ll wake her up, so make sure you can be immediately entertaining from the second she answers. (Start with a high-energy, funny, short routine. Don’t even introduce yourself.)

· Call from different numbers.

· Try sending text messages – some people simply prefer these to phone calls.

· Don’t ever acknowledge that you are calling and she isn’t returning your calls. Adopt the frame – to yourself – that she is just a flaky woman and it’s kind of cute. Don’t let it cross your mind that she might not actually be interested in you.

· Don’t ever say “this is the last time I’m calling” or “I’m calling to leave you another message” – see above. And if you do get her on the phone, don’t even bring up the subject of your previous calls or texts.

· If you phone, and it goes directly to voicemail (and doesn’t ring at all), hang up. You got a free pass. If it doesn’t ring, it won’t show up as a missed call on her phone. She won’t see that you called. If it does ring, leave a message.

On the other hand, don’t turn “pursuing” into “chasing.” If she tells you not to call, stop calling. Don’t be creepy.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Giving compliments and writing endless messages without coming to the point are two big mistakes in online dating. But there is one thing that is even worse – trying to be a nice guy.

The problem with being a nice guy is that in 90 % of the time you will end up in the friends-zone. Save the nice guy attitude for your friends. If you want to attract girls online you have to demonstrate a strong character.

The profiles in which you seem to be an asshole, telling that you don’t care what anybody thinks, that you have high standards and that you’re tired of people with emotional problems work the best (s. N. Strauss/ D. DeAngelo).

Act like you’re the prize, ask her to tell you what she’s got except her looks and make fun of her profile picture (“Did you shot this picture in the toilet?”). But don’t overdo it.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Let me distract you for a second from this pic for a small question:

How do you improve your skills in a particular area?

By practice, by doing something – it’s obvious. If you’re learning a new language the most effective way to get better is to speak in that language a lot. The same goes for if you want to get better with girls. You have to practice a lot. You can read countless books – which will make think you know it all – but unless you go out regularly and approach women, you won’t get better!

Learning by doing is effective, but it’s even more effective when you know (exactly) what you’re doing. That means besides practice you also need some theory, some knowledge – the techniques that really work.

Now where do you get that all together?

At Walmart At a Bootcamp, exactly.

In fact, it’s the most effective way to get better. Of course, it costs money and not everyone can afford a bootcamp. But if you can and you want to get better real quick (because it can take years to get better with girls studying on your own – chances are you won’t get better at all and simply consume all the pick-up material to feel better) this is the best opportunity you will get:

On the Oct 9-11.2009, worlds best pickup artists and dating coaches will come to Las Vegas. And you can be part of it! You will get the opportunity to meet and learn from the best:

Savoy (author of Magic Bullets), Cajun (winner of Keys to the VIP), The Don (author of the Routines Manual), Soul (the world’s #1 expert in Day Game), Mr M and Braddock (creators of Social Circle Mastery), Brad P, Tenmagnet, Fader, Sheriff, David Wygant, and more.

The three days are filled with seminars, live exercises, and infield (going out to meet women with dating coaches instructing you).

More precisely, there they will have two rooms with different sessions running at the same time:

1)  a seminar room:

The seminar room is where the instructors and guest speakers will reveal their latest breakthroughs, give lectures, and talk about specific topics on dating. Past subjects have included:

.. Social Circle Mastery
.. Advanced Attraction
.. Deep Comfort
.. Inner Game
.. Relationship Management and Multiple Relationships
.. Callback Humor
.. Day Game
.. Strippers and Hired Guns
.. And lots more.

and

2) a breakout room.

In the interactive breakout room you will be able to talk to instructors and work with them on a particular part of their game. These live exercises include:

.. Approaching and Transitioning – Get your approaching skills down!
.. Teasing and Bantering – How to think on your feet and build attraction FAST!
.. Physical Escalation – Touching gets results and prevents you getting in the friendzone!
.. Body Language – Project confidence with your walk, posture, and gestures!
.. Frame Control – Steer interactions the way you want it to go!

This way, you can decide on your own what you want to do because there are always two sessions running at the same time. If you want to work with an instructor, you can go to the breakout room. If you want to listen to a lecture on a specific topic, the seminar room is where you want to be. You can tailor the whole weekend to your own level of game.

There are two packages: Silver and Gold:

The Silver level attendees will be able to attend all the live exercises and seminars during the Super Conference. The Gold level attendees will also be able to do live exercises and seminars, but will also go out two nights with infield coaching by our instructors.

The price for Silver is $947 and Gold is $3,797 (which is still cheap compared to the the astronomical price of $4,000 per person for a Mystery Method Bootcamp). For more info, take a look at this video:

Learn to Attract Women at the Love Systems Super Conference (Oct 9-11.2009)

Does the following scenario sound familiar to you?

You meet a girl in a club, things go well, you make out and it gets really hot. But for whatever reason you’re unable to go somewhere private, so you exchange numbers and agree to meet within the next few days. But as you call her later, she seems disinterested and says she is busy this week. You call her later but she doesn’t pick up the phone and never returns a call.

What happend here? Let’s break it down a little bit:

When men notice that a girl is interested in them, they tend to heat up things way too quickly. Instead of taking a step back, getting to know each other (comfort building), they tend to escalate the sexual tension.

So, here’s the reason why she never calls you back:

The next day, the girl isn’t feeling the same way, she isn’t aroused anymore and her conscience tells her she made a mistake making out with a guy she doesn’t really know. She begins to feel uncomfortable associating you only with the sexual desire you conveyed. Imaging how a date with you could look like makes her even more uncomfortable. Now, to her you’re just the next guy who wants in her pants and nothing interesting or special anymore.

So, the mistake is about missing out the comfort building stage, which comes after (the stage of) attraction and before seduction. In order to be successful you got to run through all the stages, one after the other.

P.S. You will find more detailed explanations in Paul Janka’a brand-new eBook Attraction Formula.

In order to get a girl’s attention you need to stand out from the mass. People judge by the looks and you have only seconds to demonstrate that you are a man of style. You don’t need to “peacock” (the term is explained below) like Mystery and Style in the picture above, but if you’re comfortable with it, give it a try! It’s a good way to push yourself out of the comfort zone. So, first and foremost you have to look at the way you dress:

Is your dress boring or is it interesting and unique?

It’s quite helpful to ask your friends about your outfit (but please don’t be offended if they are critical, criticism will help you much more than a simple “Yeah, you’re the man!”). It’s even better if you find some girls to ask. Simply tell them you want to change your style a bit – girls love all kinds of fashion questions. You can also ask girls on the street how they like your outfit and where you can buy some cool stuff.

If you’ve already read the book I mentioned before called “The Game”, you are familiar with the “Peacock Theory”. If not, here is an enlightening extract:

“Peacock theory is the idea that in order to attract the most desirable female of the species, it’s necessary to stand out in a flashy and colorful way. For humans… the equivalent of a flashy peacock tail is a shiny shirt, a garish hat, and jewelry that lights up in the dark…”

That means you can get a girl’s attention and get her interested in you simply through the way you dress. You think wearing stuff like feather boas, cowboy hats or eye-catching jewelry is silly? Maybe it is. But think about this: How many times have you been approached by someone on your outfit? Not that much? Never?

Well, that’s what this stuff is good for – it allows women (mainly shy women) to start a conversation with you. If you have a cool answer and can demonstrate higher value you will most likely get her number. At the same time you demonstrate a high self-confidence wearing this stuff. And women love confident guys.

If you want to improve your sense of style, I recommend Magic Bullets by Savoy (he was formerly working with Mystery but the advice in the book is much more down-to-earth). Check out chapter 20, page 171.

P.S. Get rid of plaid and Hawaiian shirts. Magnum isn’t the coolest guy in the world anymore.
Look for interesting necklaces, rings or wristlets. Why? Because every woman wants to know what they stand for.

P.P.S.: Mystery and Style on Peacocking:

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