Spending all day in the gym may improve your looks. But seriously – it won’t get you more women. A lot of men think that women are attracted to a well-trained body. That’s right. But they also think a huge biceps is enough to impress and to arouse a woman. And that’s ridiculously wrong.
Women are aroused through emotional reactions, and those are caused primarily by words. So what women are really looking for is a guy who knows what to say, how to say it and when to say it. Only then touching will get you somewhere.
So, what you really need to work on is your ability to arouse a woman with your words. At the same time you have to learn how to read women’s body language.
Still, a lot of guys believe that women are attracted to a big biceps, chest and so on – to how a guy looks like. Here is what women are really attracted to: Status and Personality. Clues to those are characteristics like decisiveness, leadership, confidence and intelligence. So what you really need to train is not your biceps but your ability to exhibit the right traits for success.
Think about concrete goals in your life. Women like men with goals as this demonstrates a strong, assertive character. Why? Because it makes you interesting, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with.
This doesn’t mean that you already have to be successful in your business, but that you can demonstrate her that you can be successful. However you always have to pay attention to her reaction on your behaviour and adapt (this is called calibrating) – otherwise you will lose her.
If you want to know how exactly to demonstrate these qualities, check out Mystery’s ebook Revelation (Chapters 5 & 9).
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A lot of newbies wonder why they should use canned openers and any kind of routines. They think being spontaneous is all you need. So, why do you need routines at all?
Routines are great training wheels. They allow you to test and refine the delivery of your material so you eventually get it “just right”. Routines clear your mind of the constant question: “OMG what am I going to say next to keep the conversation going?”
They allow you to be actually more present in the moment and tune directly
into the emotional connection between you and the girl. While your mouth keeps blabbering
interesting stuff, almost without an effort of your thinking brain.
Routines literally open your heart to focus on HER and HER reactions. They allow you to flow and vibe and be in complete sync with her emotions, which is all that matters anyway.
Of course, being quick-witted and coming up with original, personal stuff to say
on the fly is the holy grail. But routines are a must for two reasons:
Reason #1: Everyone has an off day or an off moment.
Even the most skilled conversationalist will hit a lull sooner or later. What better way to amp up the energy again than by pulling out a tried and true routine… where the audience reaction is 100% predictable!?
Reason #2: Studying routines makes you think about why they work. They allow you to see the PATTERNS behind social interaction.
P.S. If you need some outstanding, working openers and routines for tones of different situations, get Magic Bullets, the “pickup bible”.
Most men believe all it takes is money or good looks to attract women. You see it all the times in Hollywood movies where the rich guy is walking into restaurants with a gorgeous woman besides him. Other times when you’re walking down the street you see a male model walking with a stunner. All these images reinforce the belief that you need money or good looks to get women.
There is a little bit of truth in there. Having wealth will make it easier for you to attract women and so does good looks. But having those traits alone is by far not enough. These will get your foot in the door, but you will still need to display your attractive personality and have good conversational skills. No woman wants to be with a quiet millionaire or male model who can’t have conversations with her or who can’t turn her on. Luckily for you, even if you are not good looking or wealthy, you can still date these types of women if you know the right things to do.
There are certain traits women want in a guy. Knowing these traits will equal the playing for average men like you and me.
In the book Magic Bullets, one of the best pickup books available today, you will find the 8 attraction switches. These are traits that every woman finds attractive in men. If you can display these traits (or turn on those “switches”) any woman will get attracted to you. Wealth is one of attraction switches and so ishealth (which is “mother” of good looks) but there are six more (you will be surprised what some of the other ones are).
You are fortunate that you are a guy, because the way attraction works for women is different than for men (as further explained in the book). Guys assume women think just like them so they assume the way attraction works is also the same. This can’t be further from the truth. For men is mostly defined by a woman’s looks. We want young, slim, and healthy looking women. Women view attraction very differently. Looks still matter, but what matter more is the social status of the man.
Here is an insight to female psychology: women want to be desired by powerful men. That is the biggest turn on for women. Now that does not mean that power equals wealth. She will get attracted to you if she perceives you as more powerful than she is. By having surmounts of wealth is just one way to do that. Another way to display that is by being more mature & experienced than her (why do you think most women date guys older than them) or you have a higher position within society than her (e.g. you are a lawyer versus she is a hair dresser).
Everyone has attractive personality traits, but you have to know how to precisely convey those to women. Bragging is a big turn off for women. Even if you have millions of dollars you still cannot get the girl if you brag about it. So what if you aren’t a millionaire? You can still get the girls knowing what the attraction switches are. Why do you think women fall head over heels over BROKE musicians?
In Magic Bullets you will find out exactly how you can step-by-step trigger those attraction switches in women. This is the secret sauce that equals the playing field for guys to compete with the male models and the rich. To find out more information on Magic Bullets, click here.
ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated Love Systems’ annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus how you can do it yourself.
Here’s the link for the video:
Unfortunately the TV crew escorted out of the seminar room at one point, but because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it. All the teachings of the company are based on the founder’s book called Magic Bullets. Grab your copy here.
Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).
1. Pickup Lines
Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.
It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.
On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there.
This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction. Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.
Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.
One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.
Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words. Examples of being needy:
-calling or texting multiple times a day
-you are too available
-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)
Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).
Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.
For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.
Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In the book Magic Bullets you will find more details what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.
Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or
Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could
see how all those AFCs would get super boring.
The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.
Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a
PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.
So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:
1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.
2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.
3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”
4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to
5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”
When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.
If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.
The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):
1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”
2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”
3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)
4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”
5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”
6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”
7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”
8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”
9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”
10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”
In order to make a woman feel attracted to you, you have to flip some switches – sooner or later. Here are the main ones:
1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: SAFETY and TRUST.
2. You must show her that you have either job, security, motivation, or ambition. In other
words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful.
3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you have something to offer, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) are useful.
4. You must be the prize of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends.This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of: CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY.
5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect
on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.
6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.
7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you recognize something SPECIAL in her that attracts you to her. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.
What is opening?
Essentially, it’s the first 3-90 seconds of an interaction with a woman, whereby you begin a conversation. With opening, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that opening can be very scary. Men are biologically predisposed to be incredibly nervous when starting a conversation with a woman that we don’t know. There are good evolutionary-biological reasons for this (in prehistoric times, approaching an unknown woman without permission or an introduction could lead to violent retaliation from her extended family), but that’s probably not a lot of comfort. So, that nervous feeling you get and the little voices that pop into your head looking for excuses NOT to talk to that beautiful woman are NORMAL. You need to learn to suppress them, but they are normal, and everyone – even pickup gurus like Mystery and Style – have them.
Some more bad news. We not only need to open, suppressing our built-in emotions, but we need to open well. Opening poorly can doom the rest of your interaction with a woman, and any other women who see it, making everything else you do a waste of time.
What’s the good news? With practice, it’s fairly easy. Most experienced guys don’t even need to think about opening anymore.
The following tips will help get you started:
1. Have a canned opener ready – This is NOT a night at the improv. Going “situational” (e.g., “it sure is crowded here” or “that’s a nice purse”) will rarely work. Think about it. If a 22 year old woman has been going out 1 night per week since she was 18, and got approached 5 times in a night (and these numbers are major underestimations) she has been approached 1,000 times before you came along. Most of those 1,000 guys have tried something boring and situational. Use a canned opener – something that has been repeatedly tested with women and is proven to work. If you don’t have even one opener, I’d suggest Magic Bullets or the Love Systems Routines Manual. If you don’t have these invaluable texts, do yourself a favor and spend the money to get them and have your openers ready before you even go to the club, coffee shop, lounge, etc.
2. 3-2-1-GO! – When you see a girl you like: GO! Open her group immediately. Failure to do this will “stale you out.” Women like confidence. They don’t like to be stalked. They like spontaneity. Wandering around circling her, looking at her, trying to figure out what to do next will turn her off and creep her out. Get into the habit of seeing a group of people, and GOING IN. You’ve already got your opener ready, right?
3. Approach at an angle – Do not walk straight up to the group. Approach at an angle, tilt your head over your shoulders, and say your piece. Done correctly (and you almost need to see it to do it properly), you raise your value significantly by demonstrating that you do not need their attention or approval.
4. Smile on the approach – Don’t grin like a moron through the entire interaction, but smile as you walk to the set, and in the first few seconds of the opener. Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. It may sound silly, but smiles can (and should) be practiced in front of a mirror.
5. Be loud enough – Everyone in the group should hear your opener. Your opener should be loud enough that it cuts across whatever conversations they are already having. Don’t shout, but make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention to your opener. Practice opening – loudly – from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can’t. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations.
6. Don’t lean in – This is connected to being loud enough. You should project your voice enough that they can hear you from a normal standing position (or leaning slightly back).
7. Engage the group – Do NOT go into a group and talk to the woman you want to meet (the target). Engage the whole group. Pay LESS attention to the woman you are interested in.
8. Playfully tease the target – Teasing is a major tool for triggering attraction. The hotter the girl, the quicker you have to tease. It demonstrates higher social value, and women are attracted to men that they perceive as having higher social status than they perceive themselves to have. I’ve seen some of our instructors open with teasing, and many will begin teasing the target within the first 10 seconds of their openers.
Another crucial element of opening is ending it. The opener should be something short, to grab the group’s attention, and be emotionally neutral. As soon as you spot an opportunity, you should transition into get the girl attracted.
All these tips and techniques are covered in depth in Magic Bullets, which is considered the bible of seduction. Much more is covered in the book like how to attract women and how to figure out when the best time is to kiss a girl.