You see an attractive woman. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to lead to attraction and more?
This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the women whose path you’re going to cross in life.
So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, take a look at this list. Print it out and keep it with you. Master these and your life WILL change.
1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.
2. Be “social” not a “shark.” The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.
3. Smile. That one’s easy.
4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers – things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 5000. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like from the Love Systems Routines Manual – it’s 200 pages of guaranteed “things to say” from approaching to seduction that actual top pickup artists use in their personal life.
5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will — women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy,” so be confident and approach. More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple.
6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique. For a complete video course with live examples (including using body language to escalate physically), there’s nothing better than the Beyond Words Home Study Course featuring puas Cajun and Vercetti.
7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.
8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.
9. Project your voice. Put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.
10. Have something to say – you’re going to have to do 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.
Before you go out
1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.)
2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.
You see a beautiful woman…
3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.
4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work, grab some from the Routines Manual. Or create your own.
The first few seconds…
5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world. The techniques for having the right body language are explained in dept in the Beyond Words Home Study Course.
6. Speak up! Most men speak too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”
7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”
Getting into the conversation…
8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…
9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.
10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. Go with what works for you.
11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.
12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.
13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual. Be strict with yourself on this.
Making attraction STICK
Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.
14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.
15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless. Read the Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game if you’re a phone number + dates guy instead of a One Night Stand guy.
Obviously, this is only scratching the surface. Attraction takes up several chapters of the Magic Bullets Handbook, most of the routines in the Routines Manual are attraction routines, and the interview series goes through the nuts and bolts of a bunch of attraction techniques so you can go over “how to” do them all. But nothing about attraction will ever contradict these 15 Laws, no matter how advanced you are.
If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.
Making people laugh is an incredibly quick way to get interest from beautiful women. Not only that, but it makes dealing with their male and female friends a lot easier.
There are a lot of reasons why this works so well – just remember that humor makes you an asset to whomever you are talking to because laughter releases chemicals that make people feel good.
Now, a lot of people think that becoming funny isn’t possible. They think that you just have to be born that way. NOT TRUE. TONs of people go from awful to incredible. All it takes is proper instruction and lots and lots of practice.
(You have to be willing to make mistakes and learn from them, which is an incredible skill set to have when meeting women as well, but that’s a whole other story.)
Here are 3 ways to make strangers laugh in bars:
Way #1 – Self-Deprecation
The average guy tries to make himself look as cool as possible by bragging about his job, his body, and his history. Doing the opposite – as long as it’s obvious that you’re pretending is one of the easiest ways to make people laugh. For example:
-Tell people that you are a virgin and that this is your first time meeting women.
-Explain how living in your parents’ basement is actually a lot cooler than it sounds.
-Let everyone know that you are actively stalking your last ten girlfriends (or should I say “the last ten girls who made the mistake of telling you where they lived…”).
Just make sure it’s obvious that you’re joking without a lame “just kidding” at the end. Pick things to say that anyone meeting you for the first time would know can’t be true.
Way #2 – Ridiculous Statements
This is somewhat similar to self-deprecation because you’re also saying things that are obviously not true. But instead of being negative, they’re just ridiculous. They key to using ridiculous statements is to back them up with good specifics. Specifics make something funnier and more “realistic” even if it’s obviously not true. For example:
“I’m pretty excited. I finally got my pet zebra in the mail.”
“I heard that astronauts drink for free in this bar. Is that true? Being in space makes me thirsty.”
“I just got back from Australia. Did you know that they call oral sex Ôgoing up’ over there?”
My favorite thing about ridiculous statements is that sometimes you don’t even have to make them up. If you ever trip over your words or get confused about the details in a story, then that can be the start of a great ridiculous statement. Pretend that the mistake is what you meant to say. Stick with it and see where it goes.
Way #3 – Misinterpretation
This started out as one of my favorite games to play in bars and ended up being a great way to make people laugh. Because bars are so loud, I’d pretend like I misheard people and respond to things they didn’t say…
THEM: “So, where did you grow up?”
YOU: “No, I don’t need another drink. Thanks, though.”
Then I thought, “this would be even funnier if it wasn’t loud at all.” I started mishearing things in quiet bars and it got even better reactions than before, so long as they could tell that I was kidding. After a while I started misinterpreting everything. Some nights, just for fun, I would decide to interpret everything I heard the exact same way, regardless of what it was…
THEM: “Do you know what time it is?”
YOU: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”
THEM: “I grew up in Philadelphia.”
YOU: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”
If you’re going to go out and try misinterpretation tonight, make sure you are mishearing them in a way that makes you look good. For example, always assume they are hitting on you, or are asking for your phone number, or trying to buy you a drink. So in a way, this is kind of the opposite of Way #1 (Self-Deprecation).
As with anything, practice makes perfect, so don’t be afraid to go out there and land flat a few times. At least you’ll have a good time doing it!
It’s in every magazine, every talk show and you hear it all the time: women want a guy with a good sense of humor.
Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How do you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?
The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.
You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.
You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.
Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.
So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!
The great thing about humor is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.
Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing
There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment here are two super easy ones.
The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:
“I’m totally breaking up with you. I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”
You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:
“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”
Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?
The second technique is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:
“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”
“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”
In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!
The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.
Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.
There are a lot more ways to turn things sexual, which you can find in the book Magic Bullets. Get it if you are clueless on turning conversations a little more sexual.
For many guys the kiss seems like the first make or break it moment when you know if a woman is actually sexually attracted to you. Therefore this moment gets built up into a challenging obstacle that becomes impossible to defeat in the mind and therefore in reality.
A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she won’t move to isolation with you. A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she hasn’t shown you even one IOI (Indicator of Interest). A woman is definitely not going to kiss you if you don’t approach her.
But let’s examine this from another angle. A woman is more likely going to kiss you if you approach her. A woman is more likely going to kiss you if she shows you IOIs. A woman
is very likely going to kiss you if she goes into isolation with you.
Let’s imagine you’ve done everything right. You’ve approached a woman, you’ve been getting IOIs from her, and she moved into isolation with you. Or alternatively you are both now out on a Day 2 (that’s a date to the uninitiated).
The next thing you’re going to be working towards is a kiss close. Because if a woman has done all these things with you then WAKE UP! She wants to kiss you. And GUESS WHAT it’s
your job to KISS HER.
That’s right! You’re the man and that’s your role. You must lead her. If you don’t lead she can’t follow. But if you do lead she’ll more than likely follow and respect you for it, because all women are looking for REAL MEN.
So you know your duty and now all you need to do is perform it. And you will do so in the following manner.
1. ALWAYS USE KINO ESCALATION
There’s a natural order to turning a woman on. They don’t prefer for you to dive straight at their lips for the first kiss. Instead they like a little teasing. They like a little anticipation. They like a little rising action. And that’s your Kino Escalation.
Kino is just a short way of saying playful touching, and not necessarily sexually touching, but the kind of touching that comes before sexual touching.
There’s easy ways to insert kino into your interaction with a woman before you kiss. Here’s a short but not complete list of examples:
-When she makes a sarcastic joke or remark nudge her in the arm with your fist or shoulder lightly and smile.
-Insert kino into routines like The Ring Finger Routine or Palm Reading and touch a woman’s hand lightly with your fingers as you run routines like these.
-Play fun games like thumb wrestling, showing each other secret hand shakes, or high-fiving each other.
-Use Kino to lead her when it’s applicable. For example lead her through crowds at bars and clubs by putting out your hand for her hand and guiding her.
-Do push-pull funny things like tell her she has huge hands and showing her by sizing your hands against hers.
-And of course there are a thousand other ways.
2. USE A KISS CLOSE to SEAL THE DEAL
Yes, I’ve heard it before, “I don’t want to use a kiss close they feel fake.” Well, that’s fine as long as you’re consistently having no trouble kissing women. But if you can’t bridge that gap, you NEED to USE a KISS CLOSE.
A Kiss Close is the device that helps you seal that deal because it gets you right up to the threshold and almost pushes you into the kiss, like a helpful skydiver instructor pushing you out the plane. Once the words or actions of a Kiss Close come out of your mouth you’ve displayed your intentions. You are committed to the kiss.
Now that you know the “why” here’s the “how.” But first a word of caution. A Kiss Close is never begging or asking. You never say “Can I kiss you?” or “Please, kiss me.” This is not a Kiss Close. Observe, these following examples and use them or create your own
along the same principles.
I. Mystery’s Kiss Close
At the moment you feel like there’s a lull in the conversation because the woman might want something more or when she meets your gaze you say the following.
You: “Do you want to kiss me?”
Her: “I don’t know.”
You: “Let’s find out.”
Then move in for the kiss :)
Of course, she could say two other things “No” or “Yes” and here’s how those play out. If she says “Yes” then you kiss immediately.
If she says “No” then you say the following:
You: “Hey I didn’t say you could. It just looked like you had something on your mind.”
II. Style’s Evolution Phase Shift
If you’ve read “The Game” then you already know this kiss close.
It’s brilliant because it incorporates kino escalation into the close. Here it is:
Tell her that she smells good and ask what she’s wearing. Lean in, brush her hair aside, sniff her slowly, moving up from the shoulder to the ear. “Mmmm, that smells good. People don’t pay enough attention to smell. But you’ll notice how animals, before they mate, will always smell each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond to certain things. You are wired to respond when someone smells you.”
“It’s like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You’ll notice how lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other’s mane, right here.” Point to the back of your head then run your hand up the back of her neck and grab a fistful of hair at the roots and
pull it, downwards. She says “Mmmm…” And I say “see.”
Next say “No one knows this, but the most sensitive places on the body are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air, like the back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). Any place where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of
sensitive little nerve endings that release endorphins. Take her arm, bend it a little, and erotically bite the area on the opposite side of the elbow (that crease where it bends). Ask “Does that feel good?”
[Note for the less experienced: If you don’t know how to erotically bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk of skin, not a little pinch and slowly and firmly slide your teeth together until they meet and release the skin. You may want to practice on your own elbow first.]
Now you say, “But do you know what the best thing in the world is? A bite…right…here.” And point to the side of your neck. Then expose your neck and say, “Bite me right here” as if you expect her to. Fifty percent of the time she will. If she doesn’t, just turn away calmly (punish), wait a few seconds, and then turn back and repeat, “Bite me right here.” Usually she will.
Half the time, her bite will be lame. If so, correct her and say, “That’s not how you bite. Come here.” Then give her a good bite on the neck and instruct her to “try again.”
Now look her in the eye, smile mischievously/approvingly, and say, very slowly, “Not bad.” Then glance down at her mouth, back up at her eyes, and kiss!
Here’s the condensed version, write it down and take it into the field with you: smell, grab hair, touch elbow, touch back of knee, bite elbow, bite my neck, bite her neck, triangular gazing, kiss.
But are routines really necessary in order to attract women?
Check out The Natural:
As men we might go out on the date-hunt alone. But women, especially women of quality, are rarely found out at clubs and bars socializing alone. They travel in wing-woman packs, or mixed groups of men and women protecting each other from slime-balls, drunken idiots, and boring AFCs (average frustrated chumps).
But you are different because you recognize this fact and you’re going to not only overcome it but use it to your advantage.
If you opened, demonstrated value (showed you’re interesting and attractive) and disqualified yourself from being the “next guy” to heighten attraction in your target, you should be receiving “Indicators of Interest” (IOIs) from the woman in set that is your target. This concept is as easy as it sounds. An IOI is something a woman does (maybe even subconsciously) to show you that she’s interested in you as more than just a friend.
Here’s a small list of IOIs:
1. She makes prolonged eye contact with you.
2. She touches you in a playful. A tap on the arm, friendly punch to the shoulder or joking hip check.
3. She fixes her hair or other aspects of her appearance in your presence.
4. She tries to insert herself into the conversation you’re having with other people in the set or if the conversation with you dies she re-starts it.
5. She’s willing to do simple things you ask her to do: “Here hold this cup.” or “Switch places with me, you stand here.”
6. She laughs at your jokes even when no one else does.
7. She doesn’t want you to leave.
The key with IOIs is to notice them and to act accordingly. What does that mean exactly you ask? Well, if a woman is showing you she’s attracted to you then you can start escalating things to the next level chief. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
The rule of thumb is to notice 3-4 IOIs then to begin to work on escalation, namely isolating the target to build comfort. So, it may take you some time to get out of your head about saying and performing your Openers, DHVs, and DQs for you to also be able to keep track of IOIs but eventually this is the point to sarging often. That’s why PUAs like to run the same material over and over again – because it allows them to be able to focus on other things like counting IOIs. Try it for yourself.
How to Isolate
Let’s say you notice those IOIs your next step is to try to get some alone time with her.
Here’s where the group dynamic comes into play. It’s tough to get awoman away from her friends. It’s tough because her friends are her safety net and it’s there job to keep her safe. But provided you did everything right you should have not only been charming your special lady but also the group so you’ve got that going for you.
But you still need to follow a few rules to keep her super team of friends from worrying, so here’s how it goes:
You notice 3-4 IOIs from the target and you know you’ve achieved attraction to you. Now address the group say:
“Even though she’s trouble (feisty, a mess, etc., insert an adjective here that calls back a DQ), there’s something about your friend I find interesting. You guys mind if I talk to her alone for just a few minutes right over there?” (point to a spot near the group but far enough that you’re out of earshot).
Now, that sentence you just read doesn’t get said to a group of women or any group often. It’s totally alpha and confident to ask the group for this and they’ll respect it. Unless there’s a really drunk AMOG or a super tough wing-woman that loathes you the group usually always just nods and says “Sure, go ahead!”
You can’t prepare yourself for all contingencies so let’s just say the situation goes smooth and no one objects which is 9 times out of ten. The target will have heard what you said so at this point look her in the eye and say “Let’s talk for a minute over there before I go.” Then put your arm out suggestively so that she takes it.
Walk with the target over to your isolation spot – you’re now in isolation.
Why and How to Build Comfort
You build comfort because meeting and dating men is a scary prospect for a woman. Think about all the psycho dudes she’s met in her life and the guys that have just tried to get in her pants. It’s no wonder she has her defenses up. You need to earn her trust and show her that you aren’t crazy and that you’re interested in more than just her body. This is the key to her really wanting to give you her number and her answering when you call it a few days later.
That’s the why and here’s the how. The Cube is a great routine to use in comfort building because it’s a good way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Feel free to run The Cube as your Isolation Routine.
In addition to running routines a good option in the comfort building phase is to listen. You already have this girl interested in you so now you need to get to know her. Ask her broad open ended questions: “What are your passions? What are you all about? You seem different from these other women in this place, what makes you special?” I think you get the idea. If she starts talking and doesn’t stop that’s a great sign. Your job now is to listen intently and look into her eyes. For more routines I recommend the Routines Manual or Routines Manual 2.
If you need a complete guide on pickup, I recommend Revelation or – as it’s a bit cheaper – Magic Bullets. Both are outstanding books and at least one of them is a must-have for everyone trying to get better with women.
For detailed reviews go to: www.bestpickupbooks.com
You know those moments after you open and you’re actually doing good but you just can’t take it to the next level? You need to build some attraction with the target but you’re just getting stuck in nice safe guy land.
What does wonders in such situatios are disqualifiers. You have to disqualify yourself from being that” next guy who wants to get in her pants”. The effect: you instantly gain value in her eyes.
Here’s a list of PUA Style’s (author of “The Game”) greatest disqualifiers:
– “Save me from her!” (said to the set about the target)
-“Nice girls like you shouldn’t hang out with guys like me.” (said directly to the target)
– Put a monetary value on yourself – You: “That’ll be $30 bucks!” Her: “For what?” You: “For holding my hand!”
– Treat her like she’s the little sister you never had. (this is just a great rule to follow)
– Tell her you have a girlfriend.
– Reverse roles and position yourself as the prize – “Stop hitting on me, I’m not just a mindless piece of meat”, “Stop taking advantage of me… I’m not that kind of guy…”
– Tell her you’ll hire her as an assistant to follow you around everywhere. And if she does well you’ll double her salary.
– Be the snob – “Yeah, whatever, not so much…”
– Be the authority figure – “You’re in trouble, you’ve got detention…”
– Exaggerate her: “OH SORRY I couldn’t serve you better, princess…”
– Make her compete – “Excuse me, there are more interesting girls over there…”
– Challenge her – “You’re not cool enough to hang with me.” Or “I’m wayyy to young for you…”
After you disqualify look for indicators of interest (IOIs) that women give men. This will let you know that you’re building attraction. Here is a list of some of them:
– Twirls her hair
– Asks your name
– Laughs at your stupid jokes
– Hits you in a playful manner
– If you pause she will fill in the silence
– Changes opinion to match yours
– Holding eye contact
– Hold out your hand. If they reach for it then you’re in.
– If they unconsciously mirror your movements.