The Pick-Up Diary

Do you want a phone number and a date? Or do you want to take her home? Or is she your next girlfriend? The distinction is important, because each path leads in a different direction.

1. How to pick up a girl if you want casual hookups. Focus on Physical Escalation (touching) and Logistics (getting her alone with you somewhere where you can take things to the next level). Remember to touch early and touch often. Find out early in the night who she is with and where she is going later. A couple quick tips:

– Make the numbers match. If you’re alone and the woman you meet is with her friend, get an instant wingman. You can use opinion openers with guys you don’t know in order to draw them into the conversation.
– Whispering is a great way to create sexual tension – it lets you get right close and is a huge turn-on to many women (always have chewing gum with you ;)
– In Day Game, physical escalation is less important and logistics are more important. Don’t try to seduce her on the street. Make a date for later that night.
– Use roleplays

2. If you want phone numbers and dates then it’s mostly about the Emotional Connection. Physical Escalation/ touching is less important on the first meeting (but still do it) and Logistics aren’t usually very important at all.

Emotional connection comes through conversation. So you need great conversation and flirting skills. Here are a couple of flirting/conversation skills:

– Never ask two questions in a row. Alternate statements and questions.
– Don’t play tourist in her life. Add value.
– Flirting is playful, not serious. It’s also supposed to be fun. Make her have fun.
– Cut off any conversation topics that won’t help you (e.g., her ex-boyfriend, her sick cat, her 6am wakeup call tomorrow, etc.).
– Be at the same energy level as her or slightly higher.

The second part of this is that once you get her phone number, you still need to turn it into a date. Here are a couple hints to get you going:

– Texting is usually better start than phoning for the first contact.
– Always sign your texts. If she has to respond with “who is this?” it kills the emotional momentum.
– If you call, get off the phone first, after about 10-12 minutes. Never leave voicemails.
– Never text her back quicker than she texted you back.
– Be unpredictable. Alternate long and short texts, funny and serious, questions and statements.
– Use statements more than questions. You don’t lose anything if she doesn’t respond to “I’m going to the House of Blues tonight!” You do if she doesn’t respond to “Would you like to come to the House of Blues with me?”
– Use Callback Humor whenever possible. If you did any role-plays when you met, start the call by continuing the role play. If you gave her a goofy nickname, start by calling her that.

3. If you are looking for a girlfriend or long-term relationship

Here’s where you need the full package. You need the conversation skills, you need the phone and text game skills (because there are going to be a few dates before she becomes your girlfriend and you’ve got to keep things going in between those dates).

You’ll also need – unlike in the last two cases – an attractive lifestyle. A woman can hook up with you without caring about what you do with your time, but for a woman to become your girlfriend, she has to want to join your life. That’s friends, hobbies, job, social life, interests, etc.

Here are a few handy lifestyle hints:

Prioritize your schedule and schedule your priorities. If you don’t make time for what’s important to you, it won’t happen. It’s much better to be passionate about something that she might not be interested in than to adopt “high status” hobbies you don’t connect with. Women love hearing men talk about something with passion and love telling their friends about it.

P.P.S. The holiday season is coming. And it’s not just about stress and travel – it’s also a great opportunity to attract women – especially holiday shopping!

The usual Day Game system that most men use will also work just fine at the mall during the holidays. But if you’re shyer, there’s another way. Approach a woman you’re attracted to with something like: “My sister says she needs a new purse for Christmas. What’s in style these days?”

The transition from this is easy; ask her to help you pick one out. Be near a purse store when you start the conversation and save your receipt. Or ask her what she’s doing and then “realize” you’re both doing your holiday shopping at a lot of the same stores, so why not do it together?

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Ross Jeffries: “The first key to understanding Thought Binding is to recognize that people are basically hypnosis machines. If you tell their minds in what direction to move they will do it everytime because people are not used to hearing these kinds of instructions. People are used to hearing babbling about content, in other words, reasons, data and facts, and that kind of stuff they can, do and will resist. But binding the direction of their thoughts? Never.

Here is an example. Suppose there is some very nice young girl you want to impress. You could tell her lots of stuff about you. You know, say something dumb like: “Well lots of women like me because I’m smart and funny and make good money, but other’s find it’s my honesty and looks that they are attracted to”.

Yeah. Right. Well, the problem is, you are tossing those facts, reasons and info at her, and like as not, she’s heard this a zillion times before and isn’t gonna buy it. If you must use an approach like this, why not bind the direction of her thoughts first? You’d do it like this:

“Hey, did you ever meet someone, and just instantly knew that you had to get to know this person better (point to yourself)? Maybe as you went inside and really got all excited about how much fun it’d be to get to know him and how curious and intrigued you were feeling? As you REMEMBER THOSE FEELINGS AS WE’RE TALKING, I’m just curious, do you first imagine how much fun they’d be to hang out with, and then get intrigued, or do you get intrigued first and then imagine how much fun this person would be (point to yourself)?”

Now, what are you doing here? You’re setting up a mood and state of mind that’s going to make her a lot more receptive by:

1. Having her recall what it’s like to be in the mood you want her in (setting up the thought direction).
2. Giving her a command to STAY IN THAT MOOD WHILE SHE TALKS WITH YOU by using the phrase “as you remember those feelings as we’re talking” (Binding the thought direction).

The phrase “AS YOU REMEMBER”…is a pre-supposition. A pre-supposition is just anything that HAS to be ASSUMED to be true in order for the sentence to make sense and be understood. Thus, with “AS YOU REMEMBER”, the presupposition is that they WILL remember.

You’ve now set her up to be MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE to any “facts” about yourself you want to throw because you’ve set up and BOUND the direction of her thinking and emotional processes. The beauty is THEY NEVER CATCH IT, because they aren’t used to hearing it or looking for it. They just know they find you mesmerising, hypnotically fascinating and irresistibly attractive.

Every decision people make is based in and dependent on their state of mind. If you don’t like their decision, change their state of mind before you try to change the decision. So the key here, is to set up the right state using some of the thought binding techniques we’ve discussed, but also to recognize, that if you’re getting resistance from a woman in the form of broken dates, calls promised but not made, etc., you need to back up and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Hmmm. What state of mind is she in right now with regard to me?
2. What’s the final state I want her in?
3. How can I have fun transitioning her to the state I want her to be in when I pounce?

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Girls always get excited if you show them some magic tricks?. Here is a piece that you can do at any time and freak people out at clubs and parties:

Ask two friends if they would take part in a psychological test with you. Ask one of them to close their eyes. Whilst their eyes are closed you tap their friend on the hand twice. You then ask the person with their eyes closed to open their eyes and ask them if they felt anything. They will swear that they felt two taps on their hand – even though you were nowhere near them… in fact you could even be stood the other side of the room.

The person with their eyes open will be amazed that their friend felt your touch even though she KNOWS you didn?™t go near her. The person with their eyes closed will be so positive that she felt two solid taps that initially she simply won?™t believe that you were nowhere near her! When everybody else watching confirms that you indeed did not touch her – the two friends, plus everyone else in the room will be amazed!

How it works:

You actually touch both people! The trick uses a concept known as ‘dual reality. Each of the friends thinks that the ‘psychological test is happening at a different time. You ask Friend 1 to close their eyes, then secretly tap their hand as you are moving towards Friend 2. After a few seconds, you dramatically (but silently) tap Friend 2. Finally you ask Friend 1 to open their eyes. The trick is complete.

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Another simple routine to impress your audience (you can use this in sets too) is the number reading routine?. Heres how its done: tell the spectator to think of a two digit number between 1 and 50. Both digits should be different and odd

Now eliminate the invisible options by asking whether it?™s a ‘two-digit number?™ (eliminates the numbers 1-9) and odd numbers (eliminates another twenty options). The most popular number people think off is 37. If you are writing the prediction down, make the ‘7?™ look similar to the number ‘1?™, as 31 is the second most popular number.

P.S. The popular answer for a number between 1 and 1.000 is 333.

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If you see a woman you’d like to meet, but you don’t approach her, that’s “approach anxiety.” This is a common problem for men.

• Give your wingman $100 at the start of the night. He gives you $10 back every time you make an approach. You’ll get in the habit very quickly.
• Keep a journal of your nights out and how many approaches you did. You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
• Do a few “warm up” approaches before you get to the bar or club or party. A club I used to go to a lot had a dive bar right beside it – so I’d go to the dive bar for 20 minutes, “warm up” with some approaches to get me in a talkative mood, then I went to the club.
• Momentum is crucial. Approach as soon as you get in the club. Even if it’s just to ask the time. Don’t let inertia take over. (Lots of people forget this rule.)
• Before you go out, write down a list of excuses why someone might not approach. (E.g., “She’s not hot enough,” “I want to get a drink/go to the bathroom first,” “She looks like she’s talking to her friends,” “I don’t have an opener ready,” etc.) Decide in advance if any of those excuses “count.” When you go out, don’t talk yourself out of an approach with an excuse that doesn’t count.

The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is of course to improve your game so that you WANT to approach, because each interaction will be exciting and fun. It’s amazing how quickly approach anxiety disappears after you do the first ones.

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If you want to approach a woman you need to know what to say – you need an opener. You probably already know the “Hey guys, me and my buddy have a debate: Who lies more – men or women?” or “Is kissing cheating?” or “Do you floss before or after you brush?” -openers. So how about some fresh ones? Here is a list of new openers (by PUA_Swagger, Zeyn, Reef, Dallas, Gigantor, The MusicMan, Galego, Wadders, Silver Tongue, Themoose, Static, Tao, SmoothCriminal):

YOU: “You seem like you’re smart.”
HER: “Yes, I am.”
YOU: “OK, we’ll see how smart you are. I’m going to ask three questions and you have to answer as fast as you can, you game?”
HER: “Sure.”
YOU: “OK, do you own a refrigerator?”
HER: “Yes.”
YOU: “What’s the most common color refrigerator ever made?”
HER: “White.”
YOU: “What do cows drink?
HER: “Milk.”
YOU: “Nooooooo! Wrong, I don’t know if we could hang out.”

YOU: “I have to get back to my friends in a minute, but I need a female opinion on something.”
HER: “What’s that?”
YOU: “My ten-year-old brother Mike just texted me, and apparently there’s this girl in his class named Stephanie that he has a huge crush on, but he isn’t sure how to express it to her. If you were ten years old again, how would you want a boy to show you that he likes you?”
HER: “Well I think that _________.”
YOU: That makes sense. I’ll let him know he should try that.”

YOU: “Let me buy you and your friends a drink.”
HER: “OK.”
(Roll up to the bar and get however many corresponding shots of water so it looks like vodka or tequila. Then bring the shots and announce a toast as they wait for me to roll out the scene thinking they just made a sucker out of me. I wait for the response after they shoot the water and walk off. I wait for them to talk shit to build value and establish me as different and then proceed to re-open the set.)

YOU: “Hi, [insert time constraint]. On a scale from one to ten, how good of an age to get married is nineteen?”
HER: “Zero, or five.”
YOU: “So, you agree with me that it’s a bad choice! That’s what I tell my little [sister/cousin/niece] but she won’t listen.”
HER: “It’s an eight, or nine.”
YOU: “But not a ten so you would hesitate.”
HER: “Ummm…yes.”
YOU: “Hesitation is bad news, that’s why I tell my little [sister/cousin/niece] that it’s a bad choice but she won’t listen.”
HER: “Ten! It’s great!”
YOU: “I knew you looked like trouble, I’ll never introduce you to my little (sister/cousin/niece).”

YOU: “Just curious, do you wear the color red a lot? The reason I’m asking is because I read this thing on the Internet about the psychology of color, and how the colors you wear project a certain aspect of your personality to the world. You wearing red means you’re an energetic person, full of excitement. Too much red can overwhelm people, but with just enough, there have been studies done that people surrounded by red feel their hearts beating faster and feel out of breath in a good way. ”

[while using a fake or invisible microphone]
YOU: “How does it feel to be invited here tonight?” (have the frame of asking red carpet like questions)
HER: “________.”
YOU: “Say something to all your adoring fans out there?”

[get close to her and be serious for a moment, after laughing is usually a good time]
YOU: “Did you hear about that car crash that happened at [insert place]?”
HER: “No! What happened?”
YOU: “Well there were two cars…one went this way [cross your right hand to be kinda by her right cheek]. And one went this way [cross my left hand to be kinda by her left cheek]. And then they collided [light tap to both cheeks]!”

YOU: “Out of curiosity, I have to ask—what exactly are you drinking?”
HER: “I’m drinking ______.”
YOU: “Well, the reason I’m asking is because I was just talking with my friend and he was telling me all about how you can tell a lot about a person based on what they drink at Starbucks [or just say any coffee shop]. He seemed really excited about it, and I just had to see if it was true.”
HER: “Haha, oh really? Well what’s a _______ mean?”

>From here just go to a bunch of basic personality types often commenting on her energy (for espresso), sense of calm (tea), sensitivity (chocolate drink), or likes to be pampered/needs time to warm up to people (frappuccino).

YOU: “Hey guys quick question. OK, so it’s almost summer and of course every girl is trying to get a bikini perfect body. And you always see a bunch of girls spending hours and hours on treadmills… say, if you guys work-out, would you ever consider doing weights? I’ll tell you why I am asking in a second. I mean, are you guys the cardio-only girl or the also do weights girl?” (Let them talk amongst themselves and when they answer…I high five the girls that do weights, and tease the girls that only run on treadmills.)

[Note: depending on the time of the year, summer would be “So, it’s summer”, after summer would be “I know summer passed, but of course every girl is still interested in getting a bikini perfect body.”]

YOU: “Hey I really like your ring. You could totally kick someone’s ass with that. I will call you if I ever get into a fight.”

YOU: “Hey X, I want to get your take on something real quick [insert time constraint]. If an average looking guy approached you on the
street or in a bar and had food in his teeth or his fly open, would you let him know?”
HER: “_____________.”
YOU: “Interesting answers, but that’s not my real question. My real question is if the same thing happened but the guy was really attractive, would it make a difference? [be sure to add root of why you’re asking here]”

YOU: “Excuse me, I want your advice for a moment [provide time constraint here] while my friend is at the bar [gesture to wingman at the bar]. We’re only here for a week on business and were wondering where the better places to go are? I’m only asking you because you are better dressed than anyone else in here.”
HER: “________________.”
WINGMAN to YOU: “I can’t leave you alone for 2 minutes can I?”
YOU: “No I was just asking these, girls where’s a good place to go round here, but they haven’t got me convinced that they know.” [give playful smile to let them know you are only teasing]

YOU: “On a scale from 1 to 10, what’s the meaning of life?”

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Relationship management is a crucial topic to improve your long-term success with women – unless all you want out of your relationships with women is drama and one night stands.

Relationship management encompasses everything you do after you sleep with someone, but, like many phases earlier in the model, your success is dependent on the groundwork you’d laid earlier. Just as what you did in comfort influences your chances in seduction, what you did in qualification, comfort, and seduction influence what will be possible in relationship management.

And a lot is possible. Anything from a long-term committed relationship to dating multiple women to friends with benefits; it’s all possible if you have the skills and know what to do. Much of what is regarded today as obvious was once highly controversial before I came along. For example:

-You literally never have to lie to get what you want, even if you want to date more than one woman at a time.

-99% of all relationships fall into six major categories. Which pattern your relationship falls into determines where you can go with it.

-Relationship management begins before you even sleep with her the first time.

You have many relationships in your life. You have a professional relationship with your boss, you have a fraternal relationship with your brother, and you probably have a dating or a “friends with benefits” relationship with at least one woman in your life.

So, when we talk about relationships and relationship management, we are assuming that you and a woman are boyfriend-girlfriend. Relationship management refers to the frame in which you and a woman are interacting.

Relationship management begins well before you sleep with her, but most of the important work comes after. Commonly, men only start thinking about relationship management after sex is over: “I slept with her; what do I do now?” It’s a rookie mistake to leave it so long, because a little bit of work to set the frame during comfort goes a long way afterward. But we’ll cover this later.

For now, let’s start by looking at some of the basic relationship types:

Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.

Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.

Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.

Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.

Dating / Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.

Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

As you can probably see, these relationship types are ranked in decreasing order of commitment. Drilling down, we see that there are pretty clear distinctions between the types, in which you are #1 to each other, the middle two, in which this may be more ambiguous, and the lower two, in which there should be no expectations at all. For simplicity’s sake, we will call these three groups High Commitment, Medium Commitment, and Low Commitment.

What you seek is a matter of preference. There is nothing inherently superior about one relationship goal over another. It depends on your desires, her desires, where you are in your life, and all kinds of other factors.

That being said, many of you are going to skip straight to the Multiple Relationships section. That’s fine if that’s what you truly want. But pause for a second and truly consider things. Don’t just want something because it feels socially impressive or some of the top Pickup Artists in the world want it. It’s a lot more work than it seems. Many of the top names in the “Seduction Community” have never pulled this off successfully, despite their marketing propaganda.

Whatever your relationship goals, there are some key points to keep in mind:

The type of relationship you have with a woman can and usually will change over time. In general, it’s easiest to move within a given Commitment level (from “Multiple” to “Open” Relationship or from “Dating/Undefined” to “Friends with Benefits” for example). Moving between Commitment levels is much harder. You can sometimes move up, but rarely down. Moving down usually requires a breakup first, and a period of no relationship. After that, you can try to re-establish a relationship, but often all you will be able to get is Friends with Benefits. This happens between ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends more than many people think.

While you can get away with trying to move to your desired relationship type after you’ve already had sex with her, this compromises your effectiveness in a couple of ways. For one thing, if she gets the sense that you don’t have much of an idea about what it is that you want, this could turn her off and you’ll never get to sex in the first place. In addition, you will be far more effective at bringing her to your desired relationship type if you are able to implicitly set the right expectations in advance. It’s not like she won’t think about it just because you’re not giving her anything to go on. She’ll think about it anyway, and she’ll let her conclusions be driven by her own assumptions and preferences. These will be a lot harder to change later.

It’s a cliche, but communication is key to a relationship. It’s not enough to act like you’re in a specific kind of relationship with someone; it must be communicated and agreed on by both of you, whether explicitly or implicitly. Again, playing the “ambiguity game” won’t help you much. Women want to know what’s going on. If you don’t make an effort to communicate this somehow, even indirectly, she’ll try to interpret (or end up misinterpreting) what you do communicate and you may well end up with differing ideas about where your relationship is going. Do I need to tell you that this is a bad idea?

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It’s in every magazine, every talk show and you hear it all the time: women want a guy with a good sense of humor.

Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How do you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?

The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.

You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.

You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.

Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.

So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!

The great thing about humor is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.

Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing

There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment here are two super easy ones.

The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:

“I’m totally breaking up with you. I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”

You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:

“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”

Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?

The second technique is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:

“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”

or

“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”

In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!

The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.

Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.

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Derek’s Tips to Improve Your Online Dating Tonight:

Big news if you want to know how to pick up women online!
Derek Cajun created the ultimate online game manual: The Gentleman’s Guide to Online Game. It’s full of examples, pictures, message logs, it goes step-by-step through the key elements of online dating, including:

– How to build a profile
– How to choose your pictures
– What to send in your first message
– How to get her into chat, text, phone, and in-person
– How to set expectations in advance (relationship vs. fun)
– Chat and message logs so you can see the system in real life
– How to meet women off Facebook

Check It Out Here:

And Cajun is guaranteeing that ANY man who uses his system will have more dates with quality women within just 30 days (or you get every penny back).

About Cajun…

If you’re new to this site, you might not know Cajun. He’s been keeping his head down the last year or two, busy with a ton of testing and live trials of the Gentleman’s Guide.

But before he was known as a world expert in online game for men, he was famous for winning the Keys to the VIP hidden competition pickup TV show. This was no vanity project, where a guy gets to approach 100 women and choose the infield footage he likes. He put his name, and the Love Systems name, on the line without so much as a safety net. Cameras followed his every move at a nightclub. Judges watched….

…and the 5’6 Cajun mopped the floor with the competition. “The best we’ve ever seen,” said one of the judges.

You can actually watch all the infield footage on the Gentleman’s Guide site – just click over to the “Success Stories” tab and look on the right-hand side. Here’s a link to the site again:

The Gentleman’s Guide to Online Dating

In other words, with Cajun you know you’re getting the straight goods. He’s not some guy who dates online because he can’t attract women day-to-day. He’s literally one of the best in the world – and he brings THAT expertise to the online world.

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