PUA Julien (RSD) – How to Create Massive Amounts of Drama & Get Away With It

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Advice from Pickup Guru “Style”: How to Be Your Best Self

Imagine right now that you see an attractive woman standing at the bar in a night club.

She is smoking hot. Just your type with long legs, beautiful bouncy breasts, curves, shiny flowing hair, gorgeous piercing eyes.

You approach and open her with the “80’s Dogs Names Opener.” She’s listening and smiling, all is going perfect!

She responds to your opener and she has a silky voice that oozes sex appeal, she smells of creamy vanilla. Her laugh makes your heart pound like a heavy metal kick drum. She’s witty and playful.

You want her…for sure!

You run the “5 Questions Game” as your DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). It goes over wonderfully! She lightly touches your arm…an IOI (Indicator Of Interest)! You toss a DQ (DisQualifier), smiling while saying “Hey, you can look, but don’t touch the merchandise.”

She flips her hair back another IOI!

You move her to isolation on the smoking patio. You run “The Cube” to build comfort.

Next you use “Style’s Elicit Values Routine” and qualify her. You’ve played your game perfectly up to this point. And then…

…YOU GET STUCK.

You run out of material. Your perfect sarge starts to fall apart.

She starts to become unsure of why she’s here with you. She tries to elicit value from you to feel more comfortable about her choice. She needs answers. She needs to know more about you before she’ll let you kiss her luscious soft cherry lips.

Who is this guy really?” she wonders.

You might remember Style’s words from “The Game:”

“What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self: It’s a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.”

So here is Style’s wisdom: “We all have an idea of who we want to be. The sad truth is that most people never get there. They don’t get to live life to the fullest being their bestselves because they don’t focus on it. The first step is realizing your goals and making them real. Write your goals down. That’s the first step.”

Writing your goals down is a way of making them more real. It’s the first small step to making a commitment to yourself that you will get better. So, just write down your goals down and you will be on your way to become your best self and finally will not get stuck as you will be your own DHV just by existing!

PUA Julien on Training Yourself to Be Unreactive

You don’t know Julien from Read Social Dynamics (RSD)? Check out this video:

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Top 10 Conversation Openers

If you want to approach a woman you need to know what to say. Most men are so dazzled by the beauty of a hot woman that they simply don’t know how to start a conversation with her. They start thinking what to say and moments later the girl is gone. If this happens again and again, it can be very frustrating…But there is a solution to this problem:

Use openers. Openers are conversation starters which you memorize before the approach. This way you don’t have to deal with the common problem of not knowing what to say in such a situation. Forget about pickup lines. They are funny but not really appropriate to start a conversation with a woman. So, without further chitchat, here are the

Top 10 Conversation Openers:

1) Hey guys, I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women? Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…

2) Hey guys, let me get your take on this – is kissing cheating? My buddy says it’s not…

3) My friend has this cute little Labrador puppy and he’s searching for a name. Do you have an idea?

4) My sister wants a tattoo. But she’s only 17. Is it ok? What do you think?

5) Hey guys, let me get your take on this. What’s Brad Pitt’s best movie? Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…

6) I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a perfume…

7) Hey, I need a quick opinion on something. I want to have my hair dyed blond (/black). Do you think it fits me?

8 ) Hey, I need a quick opinion on something. It’s really important…Do you floss before or after you brush?

9) Hey guys, help me settle a quick debate. If you were Brad Pitt who would you choose: Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Me and my buddy…

10) Hey guys, let me get your take on this. Me and my buddy are not sure – why do so many girls kiss each other in the club?

Of course you can develop your own opener. Just think of things you are curious about and are also interesting to other people.

Never open with “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” as it makes you sound insecure and lowers your status. As a self-confident man you don’t need to apologize for a question or statement. Also, everybody says this and you definitely don’t want to be like everybody, don’t you? Confidence is a key factor in a conversation with a woman as all women are attracted to confident guys. The reason is that it demonstrates a high status.

P.S. If you approach a group of people, make sure you engage all the members – even the guys. Otherwise they will haul off their friend from you.

Why Looks DON’T Matter & What Does (Julien from Real Social Dynamics)

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The Basics of Relationship Management

Relationship management is a crucial topic to improve your long-term success with women – unless all you want out of your relationships with women is drama and one night stands.

Relationship management encompasses everything you do after you sleep with someone, but, like many phases earlier in the model, your success is dependent on the groundwork you’d laid earlier. Just as what you did in comfort influences your chances in seduction, what you did in qualification, comfort, and seduction influence what will be possible in relationship management.

And a lot is possible. Anything from a long-term committed relationship to dating multiple women to friends with benefits; it’s all possible if you have the skills and know what to do. Much of what is regarded today as obvious was once highly controversial before I came along. For example:

-You literally never have to lie to get what you want, even if you want to date more than one woman at a time.

-99% of all relationships fall into six major categories. Which pattern your relationship falls into determines where you can go with it.

-Relationship management begins before you even sleep with her the first time.

You have many relationships in your life. You have a professional relationship with your boss, you have a fraternal relationship with your brother, and you probably have a dating or a “friends with benefits” relationship with at least one woman in your life.

So, when we talk about relationships and relationship management, we are assuming that you and a woman are boyfriend-girlfriend. Relationship management refers to the frame in which you and a woman are interacting.

Relationship management begins well before you sleep with her, but most of the important work comes after. Commonly, men only start thinking about relationship management after sex is over: “I slept with her; what do I do now?” It’s a rookie mistake to leave it so long, because a little bit of work to set the frame during comfort goes a long way afterward. But we’ll cover this later.

For now, let’s start by looking at some of the basic relationship types:

Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.

Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.

Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.

Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.

Dating / Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.

Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

As you can probably see, these relationship types are ranked in decreasing order of commitment. Drilling down, we see that there are pretty clear distinctions between the types, in which you are #1 to each other, the middle two, in which this may be more ambiguous, and the lower two, in which there should be no expectations at all. For simplicity’s sake, we will call these three groups High Commitment, Medium Commitment, and Low Commitment.

What you seek is a matter of preference. There is nothing inherently superior about one relationship goal over another. It depends on your desires, her desires, where you are in your life, and all kinds of other factors.

That being said, many of you are going to skip straight to the Multiple Relationships section. That’s fine if that’s what you truly want. But pause for a second and truly consider things. Don’t just want something because it feels socially impressive or some of the top Pickup Artists in the world want it. It’s a lot more work than it seems. Many of the top names in the “Seduction Community” have never pulled this off successfully, despite their marketing propaganda.

Whatever your relationship goals, there are some key points to keep in mind:

The type of relationship you have with a woman can and usually will change over time. In general, it’s easiest to move within a given Commitment level (from “Multiple” to “Open” Relationship or from “Dating/Undefined” to “Friends with Benefits” for example). Moving between Commitment levels is much harder. You can sometimes move up, but rarely down. Moving down usually requires a breakup first, and a period of no relationship. After that, you can try to re-establish a relationship, but often all you will be able to get is Friends with Benefits. This happens between ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends more than many people think.

While you can get away with trying to move to your desired relationship type after you’ve already had sex with her, this compromises your effectiveness in a couple of ways. For one thing, if she gets the sense that you don’t have much of an idea about what it is that you want, this could turn her off and you’ll never get to sex in the first place. In addition, you will be far more effective at bringing her to your desired relationship type if you are able to implicitly set the right expectations in advance. It’s not like she won’t think about it just because you’re not giving her anything to go on. She’ll think about it anyway, and she’ll let her conclusions be driven by her own assumptions and preferences. These will be a lot harder to change later.

It’s a cliche, but communication is key to a relationship. It’s not enough to act like you’re in a specific kind of relationship with someone; it must be communicated and agreed on by both of you, whether explicitly or implicitly. Again, playing the “ambiguity game” won’t help you much. Women want to know what’s going on. If you don’t make an effort to communicate this somehow, even indirectly, she’ll try to interpret (or end up misinterpreting) what you do communicate and you may well end up with differing ideas about where your relationship is going. Do I need to tell you that this is a bad idea?

The six major relationship types, how to analyze each of the relationship types from the standpoint of what it’s really like (pluses and minuses), how to get there, and how to make sure it succeeds are covered in the Relationship Management DVD.

Aug 25, 2012 - Adam Lyons    No Comments

45-Minute Podcast – Q & A with Adam Lyons

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Chasing vs. Pursuing a Woman

It’s Sunday afternoon. You met a great woman on Friday or Saturday night. You opened, you created attraction, you qualified, and then you started to build comfort. The situation wasn’t right for you to take it further, so you casually invited her to join you for some exciting event on Monday. She gave you her number. You phone. It rings a few times and goes to her voicemail. You leave a message. She doesn’t call you back. It’s now Tuesday. What do you do?

1. Maybe call her again next week, but that’s it. You need to have the frame that you have lots of women interested in you and are busy, or else she won’t stay attracted to you anyway.

2. Call or text every day or two with a variety of different approaches, to see if any of them make an impact. Delete the number after a few weeks if you don’t get anywhere.

3. Call every day until she answers. Once in a while call three times in a row to see if that works. After a week or so, drop back to once a week or so. Don’t give up until YOU are no longer interested.

What’s the right answer? Don’t look ahead…

Actually, any of them could be the right answer. In the right context, all of these are okay. Too many beginners are too inflexible with the frame that “I have value… she has to come to me” and default to (1). Yes, this is a good frame, and it’s important. However, sometimes you need to do a little bit of pursuing as well.

Why is this? If you obviously have value, why should you have to pursue a woman? Why does she want you to? In short, it’s because this shows that you are genuinely interested in her. In fact, the more value you have, or appear to have, the more a woman will want to see you put in a bit of genuine effort to pursue her. She recognizes that you can have easy conquests, and she doesn’t want to be easy.

Why else? Some women are simply flaky and scatterbrained (so are some men). She may adore you, but you called when she was having dinner, and then she met up with a friend, and now it’s the next day, and she could call you, but now she’s distracted and, anyway, if you’re really interested in her you’ll call again, right?

Why else? She wants to play the traditional female role of being chased. It’s exciting for her, and built into millennia of social programming. It’s not a great frame for men to be in, which is why we short-circuit it when we first meet a woman by disqualifying ourselves during the attraction phase. That’s easy in public, where you can plausibly start a random conversation with an attractive woman without being interested in her (until she wins you over, of course…). It’s not easy on the phone. By calling, you are confirming your interest. That’s why it’s so important to qualify her when you first meet, so she feels comfortable with your interest in her, but it does mean that you might feel a little bit of “back to square one” on the telephone. So, yes, she may make you work for it by not returning your phone call. Don’t take it personally.

Why else? Some women are taught “not to call guys.” Yes, it’s pretty silly, but there is just as much silly dating advice for women as there is for men. There’s nothing you can do about this. Call them. You can fix their silly ideas later.

Now, we covered ages ago some of the crucial tactics for making sure that she does answer the phone when you call (programming your number into her phone, telling her when you’re going to call, planning a specific event, making her verbalize some anti-flake routines, texting/calling that night, etc.) as well as how to leave a message (leave hooks, cut yourself off, etc.) so we’ll assume that you’ve done all of this, and are still not getting her on the phone. You can give up, of course, and focus your energies on new women. This is totally fine. But you can also set aside a few minutes a day with your “cold” phone numbers and do some of this:

· Vary the time of day when you call. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. If you’re getting nowhere, try calling at 1am. You’ll wake her up, so make sure you can be immediately entertaining from the second she answers. (Start with a high-energy, funny, short routine. Don’t even introduce yourself.)

· Call from different numbers.

· Try sending text messages – some people simply prefer these to phone calls.

· Don’t ever acknowledge that you are calling and she isn’t returning your calls. Adopt the frame – to yourself – that she is just a flaky woman and it’s kind of cute. Don’t let it cross your mind that she might not actually be interested in you.

· Don’t ever say “this is the last time I’m calling” or “I’m calling to leave you another message” – see above. And if you do get her on the phone, don’t even bring up the subject of your previous calls or texts.

· If you phone, and it goes directly to voicemail (and doesn’t ring at all), hang up. You got a free pass. If it doesn’t ring, it won’t show up as a missed call on her phone. She won’t see that you called. If it does ring, leave a message.

On the other hand, don’t turn “pursuing” into “chasing.” If she tells you not to call, stop calling. Don’t be creepy.

If you are new to meeting women and dating, check out the seduction bible for meeting and attracting women called Magic Bullets.

Aug 18, 2012 - Neil Strauss    No Comments

30-Minute Podcast: Q & A with Neil Strauss (The Game)



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50-Minute Podcast: Q & A with Paul Janka (“New York’s #1 Playboy)



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