A lot of guys who struggle with girls are highly motivated to improve themselves. But in order to improve yourself, you need to know what to improve. And often people simply don’t know what they are doing wrong, they haven’t identified their “sticking point”:
Maybe you don’t know how to open, maybe you don’t know how to create attraction, maybe you always skip the comfort building-phase. Or maybe you can’t bring yourself to speak to strangers, have some nervous ticks speaking with women, play the funny guy to smooth over your insecurity or your mind goes blank facing a beautiful girl. Maybe you donâ€™t care about grooming and looks. Maybe you endlessly search for the right moment to kiss the girl or donâ€™t use touching (kino) at all and always end up in the friends zone – this list is endless.
So, first you have to identify your problem, your sticking point with women. Here is what you can do to find out where your problem with girls might be:
1) Think about the past situations with women and what went wrong. Try to see the whole situation from her perspective â€“ would you like this guy and would you think this guy has got girls in his life? If the answer is â€œnoâ€ â€“ why? Compare yourself with successful guys â€“ what do they do and you donâ€™t?
2) Ask your friends and try to get an honest answer on how they see you interacting with women. Let them speak, donâ€™t interrupt and donâ€™t search for any excuses. Accept what they say â€“ in most cases they see the right picture and you are the one who doesnâ€™t want to accept the reality. Most guys donâ€™t get over this point because admitting a weakness normally lowers your self-esteem. And nobody likes that. Hence most of the guys never really get better with women. Be the difference: Accept that you have to change things and start working on it.
3) Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like â€œthisâ€ guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.
4) Get more information on attraction and psychology (internet, book store). You have to be aware of the basic principles of human interaction. But donâ€™t overdo it. You donâ€™t need all the books, two or three are enough at the beginning. The information you get from them is only there to know why something works. But itâ€™s absolutely worthless if YOU donâ€™t use it in the real life. You only get better if you go out and approach girls. The lack of experience with girls is the number one reason why guys donâ€™t get the right results with girls. Hereâ€™s how you get the most out of the information you receive: break it apart and try one thing after another. If you read something new, go out and try it (and only it) until you get the right results. It’s not that easy in praxis, but it’s the most effective way to get better – and this is your goal, isn’t it?